I can see it now. You might be thinking "hey I actually like college," and you're not alone.
College is an amazing time packed with even more amazing memories, I get this. But nobody realizes until they're going into their junior year how big of an emotional letdown college can be. When you hit the junior year point, you realize that you're halfway through everything and it scares the living hell out of you.
Nothing seems wrong, nothing seems the matter. The word "halfway" carries a lot of weight. Only a short time ago we likely knew nobody in our lives now, and this whole way of life we have become accustomed to was unimaginable. Honestly, it's crazy how we go to high school for 12 years, and yes we get older but things never REALLY change. But after a few years in college, our whole life is completely different.
It's like a tornado came into our previous lives and we built something new from what was left of it.
Two more years of college and we have everything to prove- more job experiences, opportunities, internships, friendships, heartbreaks and losses. How did we meet so many people and become so close with them in such a short amount of time? It's scary that we're halfway through the time we have with our new college families.
College is unforgiving in that way — you can see the sand running out the minute you move in freshman year.
Nobody knows what the hell is going to happen in the future. It's fun. It's scary. It's overwhelming. But that's the beauty of it all, isn't it?
For some of us, we probably didn't think we'd make it this far. Statistically, 15% of us could have been dead by our own hands at this point. College is easily one of the most stressful times in someone's life, and it's unfortunate that some people succumb to that stress or depression.
For others, we didn't think we'd be smart enough, have enough money, or have enough time to handle everything that the unforgiving tornado of college hurls in our direction. We get sucked up, hurled around and we don't ever know if we'll hit the ground again. But we do.
The halfway point is even scarier because it's when we realize that everything around our world is constantly changing. Our siblings are growing older and graduating, and you are watching kids who you remember being so young get their licenses. Then we realize we got in such a big damn hurry with ourselves we forgot that all of these other important things were going on.
We think about how every decision we made had its own unique impact on how we got to where we are this very second, and how different our lives would be if we hadn't made a certain decision.
Sometimes we yearn for the old days where life was so simple. For me, it's going back and hanging out with my friends and playing video games. Staying up all night talking and eating things that were bad for me, and having no regrets about it the next day. A time where we didn't think that every decision we made was going to impact our future.
Focusing on the future too much robs the present of its ability to change us.
Most importantly, we all find someone or something that makes us give more of ourselves than we get out of it. Regardless of whether or not we are selfless at heart, something makes us want to put in work and effort day in and day out and never complain one second about it.
"I love you" becomes much more than three words. For some, it might be the last thing you say to a grandparent that you'll unknowingly never see alive again. It was different when you were a kid, and you never considered when your last goodbye might be. "I love you" isn't a wasted utterance of the mouth, but a living, breathing embodiment of our heart and soul that carries more weight than any point previous to the present.
Balancing classwork, relationships, partying and free time... that's all going to change in such a short time. We really are living in the most distinct and impactful time of our life and there's nothing we can do to truly understand the scope of its importance. At this point, nobody knows what to expect. Is the tornado going to swing north and miss us? Or is it going to come ahead and full force?
Nobody knows, and that's what makes college so fun it scares you.
You just grab hold of the strongest thing you can find and hold on for dear life.
Enjoy the unforgiving emotional tornado that is college.
*Inspired by a great friend*