The Unforgiving Emotional Tornado That Is College

The Unforgiving Emotional Tornado That Is College

The good, the bad and the ugly.
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I can see it now. You might be thinking "hey I actually like college," and you're not alone.

College is an amazing time packed with even more amazing memories, I get this. But nobody realizes until they're going into their junior year how big of an emotional letdown college can be. When you hit the junior year point, you realize that you're halfway through everything and it scares the living hell out of you.

Nothing seems wrong, nothing seems the matter. The word "halfway" carries a lot of weight. Only a short time ago we likely knew nobody in our lives now, and this whole way of life we have become accustomed to was unimaginable. Honestly, it's crazy how we go to high school for 12 years, and yes we get older but things never REALLY change. But after a few years in college, our whole life is completely different.

It's like a tornado came into our previous lives and we built something new from what was left of it.

Two more years of college and we have everything to prove- more job experiences, opportunities, internships, friendships, heartbreaks and losses. How did we meet so many people and become so close with them in such a short amount of time? It's scary that we're halfway through the time we have with our new college families.

College is unforgiving in that way — you can see the sand running out the minute you move in freshman year.

Nobody knows what the hell is going to happen in the future. It's fun. It's scary. It's overwhelming. But that's the beauty of it all, isn't it?

For some of us, we probably didn't think we'd make it this far. Statistically, 15% of us could have been dead by our own hands at this point. College is easily one of the most stressful times in someone's life, and it's unfortunate that some people succumb to that stress or depression.

For others, we didn't think we'd be smart enough, have enough money, or have enough time to handle everything that the unforgiving tornado of college hurls in our direction. We get sucked up, hurled around and we don't ever know if we'll hit the ground again. But we do.

The halfway point is even scarier because it's when we realize that everything around our world is constantly changing. Our siblings are growing older and graduating, and you are watching kids who you remember being so young get their licenses. Then we realize we got in such a big damn hurry with ourselves we forgot that all of these other important things were going on.

We think about how every decision we made had its own unique impact on how we got to where we are this very second, and how different our lives would be if we hadn't made a certain decision.

Sometimes we yearn for the old days where life was so simple. For me, it's going back and hanging out with my friends and playing video games. Staying up all night talking and eating things that were bad for me, and having no regrets about it the next day. A time where we didn't think that every decision we made was going to impact our future.

Focusing on the future too much robs the present of its ability to change us.

Most importantly, we all find someone or something that makes us give more of ourselves than we get out of it. Regardless of whether or not we are selfless at heart, something makes us want to put in work and effort day in and day out and never complain one second about it.

"I love you" becomes much more than three words. For some, it might be the last thing you say to a grandparent that you'll unknowingly never see alive again. It was different when you were a kid, and you never considered when your last goodbye might be. "I love you" isn't a wasted utterance of the mouth, but a living, breathing embodiment of our heart and soul that carries more weight than any point previous to the present.

Balancing classwork, relationships, partying and free time... that's all going to change in such a short time. We really are living in the most distinct and impactful time of our life and there's nothing we can do to truly understand the scope of its importance. At this point, nobody knows what to expect. Is the tornado going to swing north and miss us? Or is it going to come ahead and full force?

Nobody knows, and that's what makes college so fun it scares you.

You just grab hold of the strongest thing you can find and hold on for dear life.

Enjoy the unforgiving emotional tornado that is college.


*Inspired by a great friend*



Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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4 Things I Wish High School Me Knew

Every day has a purpose.

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People don't give high school enough credit for having the ability to shape your life. It can build you or it can break you and often times there is no in between. As I enter into my senior year of college I have reflected a lot on my college career and how it really has been the best years of my life up to this point, but I know that without a doubt my life would have been so different in I would have known these things as a high schooler.

1. Your life is valuable

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. - Ephesians 2:4-7

2. You aren't defined by your singleness. 

Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. - Song of Solomon 2:7

4. You aren't going to fit in

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. - Romans 12:2

4. Your clothes aren't going to fit forever, don't spend all of your money on them 

Then he said to them, "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions." - Luke 12:15

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