The Often Impossible Task Of Living In The Moment
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Student Life

The Often Impossible Task Of Living In The Moment

Your presence is the best gift you can give yourself.

The Often Impossible Task Of Living In The Moment

As a college sophomore trying to graduate a year early, it's been much too easy to get flustered about the future. I find myself thinking in blocks of time, analyzing how each and every move I make now could ripple into the days to come. My thoughts go something like this:

Well, if my potential spring internship affects my chances for getting a great summer internship, which could quite possibly lead to my future career, I better start applying to things fast. Should I apply for something that's unpaid but would work as a great resume builder or should I do something that's paid so I can save up money? And what if I don't get the one I want? And what if...

It goes on and on until my mind is exhausted by every single possibility of every situation that I create for myself. These situations don't even exist yet, but in my mind they do –– they're as real as the present, if not more.

And even though I can feel the anxiety rising up within me, even though I know I should spend more time preparing for the future than worrying about it, it's almost easier this way. I know; it seems silly. But more often than not, I'd rather escape the present than spend time actually being in it. I'll be the first to admit that it's scary to think about the future.

But I think I'm more scared to think about the present, about the moments I might miss if I'm not careful enough. In many ways, it seems like a vicious cycle. I avoid the present by worrying about the future, which brings constant anxiety into my life.

But today, I'm going to end it. I know it won't happen immediately; staying present-minded will be a slow, arduous process. I'll have to remind myself of this every day, but it's worth it.

I want to be present for the things that matter in my life, for all the late night snacking with my friends, for all the times my boyfriend makes me laugh, even for my incessant Netflix binges. Whether I'm eating sour worms or salty chips, I want to be there to taste it, to listen to corny jokes and to enjoy every visually beautiful scene in "Mad Men."

To me, the present is what is important. It's what matters the most. Even though I sometimes forget that, the facts don't change. The present is happening now, and I don't want to miss it anymore. So here's to a more present-minded self, no matter how many tries it takes.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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