The inextinguishable figure strolled down the halls and disappeared into the multitude. But his eyes caught my attention because they were comparable to the depths of the sea, the moon, and the stars.
His presence reminded me of the starry nights of my childhood. The glare of the stars in the black night; in conjunction with the shooting starts. Those stars that appear only once. That great phenomenon. Yes, seeing such a man felt like the anxiety that the shooting stars provoked me. Because it only lasted a second, and because I could make a wish. Also because I loved the presence they had in me.
Growing up, I had the opportunity to meet two men with a deep eye look. I was only eight years old when a boy with red hair approached my grandmother's gate. He didn't speak to me, but his gaze said a lot. It said anger. It said Curiosity. His stare was like that of a wise man who had traveled many ways. Then he left. But the few minutes he stayed lasted an eternity because I got lost in his eyes.
The other man was him. Asserting and affirming that he was present. Asserting and affirming truths. He had a simple style that accompanied his peace. At first, I wronged him with power and authority. But later, I discovered that there was an authority in the way that he was peaceful.
I discovered things about me, through him. Beautiful notions I lost at the hand of my high school bullies. I explored the ways in which I imprisoned myself to believe in perfection. I had built a prison complex by which everything I did was wrong because I internalized my bullies.
Allowing him in with a purpose was essential. I didn't want to use him as a form of distraction. In the past, I fantasized about love, but I didn't develop a perception of this emotion.
What I felt was indescribable because it allowed me to realize that feelings must be nurtured.
I observed what it produced in me. What kind of concept was I creating? Well, it was simple I had no concept yet because I hadn't allowed myself to feel. I had to explore love in my own way, without caring about the correct way to do it.
