I read a devotional this week about picture perfect moments. We compare our in-between moments to others picture perfect ones. I was talking to my friend today and she said "honestly, if you look at my Instagram you would think that I have the best life". And, man if that isn't the truth for most of us.
I have bridal shower pictures, where I spent the day wrestling thoughts of when it will be my turn
I have concert photos where I got in bed crying after because I was so sick, and spent the night pretending I was okay
There are selfies posted in the loneliest of moments, searching for something, anything
There are nursing school pictures, where I spent the entire SIM doubting my ability to be a nurse
There are church pictures on days I wrestled with social anxiety and forced conversations
There are plenty of pictures from an entire summer of depression, that nobody knew anything about
There are post-breakup pictures filled with bitterness and pain
There are graduation pictures that hid my fear of the future
And the list could go on
The truth is, I hit my knees. Quite often, if I'm being honest. I wrestle with the hard questions. "Where are you God?", "You called me here and let THIS happen?", "I did my part, why aren't you showing up now?". The truth is, I pray for physical healing every single day and don't get it. I pray for doors that don't open. I pray for heart changes in people that I never see. Don't get me wrong, I have seen miracles in my life and others. I've had God open doors I could have never imagined. I've seen redemption of hearts I thought were lost. I've had so many picture perfect moments. But you know what I've learned about the in-between?
I've learned that God is not a liar. I've learned that we are not promised easy. We are not promised a life without pain. We were promised that the weapon shall not prosper, not that it won't be formed. I've learned that sometimes, God's presence is the most present when my knees and tears hit the floor. I've learned that you cannot be made whole until you recognize parts that are broken. I've learned that the good fight is in fact, a fight. I've learned that choosing love is not always easy. I've learned that to be strengthened, you sometimes need to be weak. I've seen glory that comes from hardship. I've learned through the in-between moments of this life, what "thy will be done" really looks like.
The truth is, life is hard. Ever-changing, disappointing, and painful at times. But God is kind. God is consistent. God is grace, hope, and love. God is in the valley with us. God is at the mountaintop with us. God is persistent, and always pursuing. God has never forsaken us. God is right, and He knows best. God is a best friend. A father. A present help in times of trouble. God is working in the in-between. God is all things. Everything. All at once. And yet He sees me. He sees you. I think that miracles aren't always big or all at once. They are all the in-between moments, that reveal a big God. And that's beautiful.