This is a poem written about depression, how dark and difficult it is to stay mentally stable. Why the struggle is real and it gets difficult to fight harder each day. A simple task is an achievement to someone, such as getting out of bed. It takes a lot of will to try and get back to what you love, once you lost interest in it. I wish more people were more understanding of the situation and stop judging a person based on a difficult chapter in their life.
The Darkness Inside My Head
When the darkness comes, everyone thinks about the night
But for me, darkness comes at any time of the day and night
It's a shadow that follows me everywhere,
That lives inside my head
It controls my emotions,
Until it keeps me in bed all day
Is it a monster?
Is it an animal?
Is it something just inside my brain?
I'm not sure but sometimes I can imagine how it looks like
With two big eyes always watching me
One white and one red,
It's head in a shape of an ape,
With the same nose, and mouth.
Blurriness surrounding its face
It gives me insomnia
Results on restless nights
It makes me feel sad all day
And most of the time I don't understand why.
When it visits me,
It takes all my love for the things I like
I no longer play the guitar,
Listen to my favorite song,
And even walk around Central Park
When it visits me,
I sit alone,
I cry on my own,
Hugging a pillow.
I can't concentrate,
I hardly eat,
Smile and laugh
I think about the things I didn't do,
Like the time I didn't show up at my friend's
Surprise party four years ago, and now
I feel guilty
Sometimes, it goes on a short trip,
I get to see the sparkles in life
Laugh and smile,
Run around with friends
Return to the things that makes me happy
To the things I enjoy in life
I sleep at night, and live at day
I see colors and shapes
But it never lasts,
Because it comes back
And it starts to rain
I sit alone again,
Feel a dark cloud on top of my head
And when I'm alone I think,
Think, and think hard on a way to beat it out
I talk, and search,
I have a potion now,
That will help those white and red eyes turn away,
That blurriness get out of my head,
That nose that keeps me away from beautiful smells,
That mouth that keeps me from eating what I want
And at the end I will no longer be scare.