The Darkness Inside My Head

It's never easy to win battles, sometimes you have a group of people on your side to fight alongside with. But there are times where many of us are fighting a war we don't know how to handle, there is no strategies. Most of the time individuals think that saying "be happy", "there are many things to be happy about". When we don't have energy to do a single thing, we are called lazy. But no one stops to think how hard it is to stop doing the things you love the most.

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This is a poem written about depression, how dark and difficult it is to stay mentally stable. Why the struggle is real and it gets difficult to fight harder each day. A simple task is an achievement to someone, such as getting out of bed. It takes a lot of will to try and get back to what you love, once you lost interest in it. I wish more people were more understanding of the situation and stop judging a person based on a difficult chapter in their life.

The Darkness Inside My Head

When the darkness comes, everyone thinks about the night

But for me, darkness comes at any time of the day and night

It's a shadow that follows me everywhere,

That lives inside my head

It controls my emotions,

Until it keeps me in bed all day

Is it a monster?

Is it an animal?

Is it something just inside my brain?

I'm not sure but sometimes I can imagine how it looks like

With two big eyes always watching me

One white and one red,

It's head in a shape of an ape,

With the same nose, and mouth.

Blurriness surrounding its face

It gives me insomnia

Results on restless nights

It makes me feel sad all day

And most of the time I don't understand why.

When it visits me,

It takes all my love for the things I like

I no longer play the guitar,

Listen to my favorite song,

And even walk around Central Park

When it visits me,

I sit alone,

I cry on my own,

Hugging a pillow.

I can't concentrate,

I hardly eat,

Smile and laugh

I think about the things I didn't do,

Like the time I didn't show up at my friend's

Surprise party four years ago, and now

I feel guilty

Sometimes, it goes on a short trip,

I get to see the sparkles in life

Laugh and smile,
Run around with friends

Return to the things that makes me happy

To the things I enjoy in life

I sleep at night, and live at day

I see colors and shapes

But it never lasts,

Because it comes back

And it starts to rain

I sit alone again,

Feel a dark cloud on top of my head

And when I'm alone I think,

Think, and think hard on a way to beat it out

I talk, and search,

I have a potion now,

That will help those white and red eyes turn away,

That blurriness get out of my head,

That nose that keeps me away from beautiful smells,

That mouth that keeps me from eating what I want

And at the end I will no longer be scare.