The Curly Hair Struggle

The Curly Hair Struggle

6 struggles you have faced having curly hair, its not all its cracked up to be.

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1. Can I touch your hair?!

Although this may seem like a compliment it is so awkward when a stranger asks you this. Yes, it is nice to have your friends wanting to play with your curls or hear how soft your hair is but it does get uncomfortable. You have probably been asked this question since you were little and at this point you just let people touch your hair because for some reason this is normal. You also ask yourself why people think it is okay to just walk up to you are put their finger through your curls. If you say no to this question the person just looks at you like you denied them a great opportunity.

2. When you try to blow dry your hair and it turns into one huge puffball

After a shower, on a cold night, you don't want to go to bed with your hair wet so you blow dry it. Instead of your hair just laying flat it puffs up like a blowfish and now you are standing in the mirror wondering how if you should just go to bed and just wet it in the morning. You decide to try and blow it out more and use a brush and now it is even bigger so you set the blow dryer down and decide to go to bed because your hair has a mind of its own.

3. Rainy days mean FRIZZ

You wake up to go to class or work and see its raining, that means one of two things, either straighten your hair and hope for the best or try and style it/braid it and see what happens. Most of the time you will be running late to wherever you are going that morning and when you show up it looks like you've been attacked by an animal. All day long you are trying to make sure your hair is not sticking up but then you wonder why people are looking at you and it is because your hair is sticking up! No matter what product you put in it, your hair will still be frizzy because that's just how it is.


4. As soon as your hair gets wet it instantly curls

It's summertime and you just want to go swimming and take cute pictures with your friends but the second your hair touches water it curls up! You try to pull up your hair but somehow the ends still touch and your hair becomes curly before you know it. After a day of swimming, you look at yourself in the mirror and your hair is a literal tumbleweed so you brush your hair out and try to fix it enough to be able to go out in public. Yes, sometimes this is nice when your hair just curls and lays nicely, like after a shower.

5. You can't cut your hair too short!

One word, "Christmas Tree". You wanted to cut your hair into a cute bob so you did, but instead of it looking like it did when you left the salon it looks like a puff ball on your head. Then you realize why your hairdresser told you it was NOT a good idea to cut your hair this short so now you're irritated and want to shave your head. Now, you have to wait a good year or two for your hair to grow out and look normal again.

6. Did you get a perm or is that natural?

Another question you will always get asked is if you got a perm or if your hair is natural. All you can think to yourself is NO NO I DID NOT GET A PERM THIS IS MY HAIR. But, nicely you say "Nope, this is my natural hair" and then you get told that they want your hair and they are so jealous but deep down you know that your hair is so absolutely hard to take care of. The only good thing you can say about it is that its thick and it hold curls when you decide to curl it.


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The Unexpected Relationship

Never let someone make you change who you are.

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I always thought that I could have that fairytale relationship, where you are with one person and they are the love of your life. I never thought I would find someone even more special, causing my life to spiral.

Being on Tinder was always looked at as only wanting to hook up with someone, but there are those few people who managed to find their true love on the app, so why couldn't I? It took a while, but I found someone I thought I could spend the rest of my life with. After being together for a year, things started to change. He wanted me to change and be someone I was not.

When your first love tells you that they wish something would be different, you should take that as a sign saying it isn't a healthy relationship. I thought the opposite and tried everything in my power to stay with him. I became friends with his best friend like he wanted, and I talked more to his family. I thought that would be enough, but he got even more distant with me. I still would not accept ending things.

Anxiety is something that can be caused by several things, and if you have never had one before, it is one of the scariest things to go through alone. Some symptoms could be irrational thoughts, you can't breathe, your heart is racing and maybe more. This could also turn into a panic attack if it gets bad enough. Something that caused all these anxiety attacks, was things my boyfriend would say and do. When I told him about them, he told me its okay but wasn't very reassuring.

Trust is a major part of a relationship, and once that is questioned then that is the end. One day, I was hanging out with his friend, as he wanted all along, and he accused me of cheating. I have been patient with wanting to fix things, but that was something I could not forget. I felt unappreciated at that moment. I was still with his friend after this all went down, and he was the only one who really tried to make me feel better. I don't remember the last time I felt special or appreciated before that night. After I left his house, I felt different.

There is always that "bro-code" between guys where you cannot date your best friends ex, but if there are mutual feelings, then it shouldn't be forbidden. A couple of days after the incident, I ended things with my ex and it did not go well. I had several anxiety attacks throughout that week, and I was fortunate enough to have someone by my side helping me through those tough times. I couldn't be more grateful for all he has done for me in the week this all happened.

If there are ever any doubts in a relationship, that is not healthy. It is best to end things before they get any worse as they did with my relationship. I am terrified of possibly losing the only person who always makes me feel like I am the most important person in their life. I don't know what I would do if we couldn't be together because of them being best friends.

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