Halloween is definitely the best time of year. Fall is in full swing, you get to dress up in a cool costume, and you go around the neighborhood with friends getting free candy. What could be better than that? However, after years of experience you start to really figure out the in's and out's of Halloween. You learn about which houses to avoid, which houses run out of candy the earliest, and which families have the hook up. Here are the ten types of people you experience while trick or treating:
Those that give out full size candy bars
You always wonder how they afford dropping so much money on large (or even king sized) candy bars, but you don't question it because they are the bomb and you are thankful for their existence in your neighborhood. They are basically like a Walgreens and it is always the best house to go to on the block.
The dum dums and bubble gum givers
Like you really couldn't buy any better candy? Do you hate Halloween? Did you get them on sale? Please tell me your reasoning behind this poor decision.
People that give out apples and floss
We get it, you're a dentist or a vegan or what not, but just like you don't expect us to get upset with your awful Halloween treats, we expect you not to put up a fight when we TP you every year.
The generous "take a few" types of people
These are the best kinds of people. They will either grab a handful and toss it into your bag, or even let you select a few different pieces from their bowl. While the anxiety of picking the perfect few pieces kicks in, you are always happy that they help strongly contribute to your end of the night candy count.
Families that leave the bowl on the front step
First of all, are you really that naive that you expect people to take one or two pieces and leave? There is always that one group of pre-teen boys that dump the entire bowl in their bag, leaving the rest of us with nothing.
The creative neighbors that give out popcorn balls and/or chips
While not everyone loves the popcorn ball or chips instead of classic candy, we applaud your effort at being different and will eat your popcorn ball when our stomachs are so sick of sugary sweets so in the end we accept your creativity.
The non-celebrators/"ran out of candy"-ers
They have a sign on their door that says "doesn't celebrate Halloween" or "ran out of candy, sorry" and all I can say is do you also warship the devil?
The people who try to scare you
They sit on the front porch acting like a scarecrow, or have someone run from the side of the house while you reach for the candy bowl and it scares you every time. Like, I'm just trying to dress like a princess and get some Milky Ways, do you really need to make me wet myself?
the drunk parents that use halloween as an excuse to drink
They sit out on their driveway with beers and try to joke with you about your costume but you just want them to stop talking to you and give you your candy so you can leave. They probably have other neighbors either, making those people's houses have the dreaded candy bowl on the front step which makes you slightly angry but it's okay because you'll probably become one of those parents, too.
the nice neighbor that made you a goody bag/saved the good candy for you
Their older daughter used to babysit you, or you watch their dogs when they go on vacation so they like you a little bit more than the other neighborhood kids and they always have a special goody bag or large candy bar for you.
So if you're reading this as someone who gives out candy on Halloween, evaluate which kind of neighbor you are and make sure you avoid getting TP'ed this Halloween. Happy trick or treating!
