A Tale That Probably Should Have Stayed Dead | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Entertainment

A Tale That Probably Should Have Stayed Dead

My Review of "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales"

37
A Tale That Probably Should Have Stayed Dead
Mashable

(Obligatory spoilers warning!)

If you're anything like me, you would have been nervously (and happily) awaiting the fifth Pirates of the Caribbean movie since the year 2013 when there were just light whispers of this film being a real thing. Just two weeks ago, this film was finally released, and I, of course, had to see it the day it came out in theaters. As Dead Men Tell No Tales ended, my anxiety for this film was finally over, but, unfortunately, was merely replaced with sorrow (and a bit of anger).

Now, I remember going to the fourth Pirates movie, On Stranger Tides, in eighth grade and being in absolute awe (yet again) of Captain Jack Sparrow's continued wit and charm. The opening of the film, where Jack escapes from the grasps of the British soldiers, put me right back into the mood that I call, “Hell yeah, Pirates of the Caribbean.” On Stranger Tides held all the charm and adventure that I was so fond of in the first three films. I was back in the romanticized, pirate world that I had easily grown to love. The fourth movie was, in the usual spirit of Pirates of the Caribbean, a blend of accidental cleverness, myth and history, and romance and action. It was fantastic and fun. Although I know that loving the fourth movie as much as the first three movies is an unpopular opinion, I will always allow myself to group it with the first three due to its inclusion of epic sword fights, a terrifyingly awful villain, a wonderful plot (even with the addition of Penélope Cruz), and the ridiculousness and wonderfulness of Captain Jack Sparrow himself that has forever and always captured my attention for a full two hours.

Reentering the present (and the time now after the release of Dead Men Tell No Tales), I find myself in the position of feeling obligated (as a Pirates fanatic and no film expert of any kind) to share a few of my opinions on it. And, that being the case, I must say that I was incredibly let down — brokenhearted even — by this fifth Pirates movie.

Where had the clever and playful Captain Jack Sparrow gone? Where was the badass female lead who could hold her own against a band of pirates? Where was the fantastical and mythical world we’d been introduced to in the first four movies? Where was the fear? The romance? The daring sword fights? I would ask “Where was the rum?” but the unfortunate truth of not asking this question is because there was too much rum in the fifth movie. Unfortunately, the beloved Jack Sparrow of the first four films had completely lost his swagger. Rather than being a proud and daring pirate, he was merely a drunken shadow of the Captain Jack Sparrow who always had a plan, a fight, a treasure, and an escape route ready to go. Though there was a short reprieve of my despair during moments of the film (like the two scenes with Orlando Bloom and Kiera Knightley and the swinging guillotine action), those mere minutes were not enough to save the film from scathing reviews. Dead Men Tell No Tales will never hold a candle to the epic trilogy or the fourth episode of Pirates of the Caribbean. In this film, there was missing chemistry between the new cast of characters, a pretty awful young CGI Jack Sparrow, zero witty banter (and altogether poor writing), and an overall ridiculous and complicated plot that tried too hard to introduce new characters and tie too many not-really loose ends together. It was a film which, like the unofficial (according to me) eighth Harry Potter story, felt more like terribly written fanfiction than a true continuation of the tale.

As excited as I was to dip my toes back into the world of Pirates of the Caribbean, I came out of the movie theater sorely disappointed. In the words of a New York Times article that I happened to glance at, “Trust me on this: This movie would be a rip-off even if someone paid you to see it.” And in my opinion, it is high tide for the Pirates of the Caribbean narrative to become a dead man's tale.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Entertainment

Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

These powerful lyrics remind us how much good is inside each of us and that sometimes we are too blinded by our imperfections to see the other side of the coin, to see all of that good.

137389
Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

The song was sent to me late in the middle of the night. I was still awake enough to plug in my headphones and listen to it immediately. I always did this when my best friend sent me songs, never wasting a moment. She had sent a message with this one too, telling me it reminded her so much of both of us and what we have each been through in the past couple of months.

Keep Reading...Show less
Zodiac wheel with signs and symbols surrounding a central sun against a starry sky.

What's your sign? It's one of the first questions some of us are asked when approached by someone in a bar, at a party or even when having lunch with some of our friends. Astrology, for centuries, has been one of the largest phenomenons out there. There's a reason why many magazines and newspapers have a horoscope page, and there's also a reason why almost every bookstore or library has a section dedicated completely to astrology. Many of us could just be curious about why some of us act differently than others and whom we will get along with best, and others may just want to see if their sign does, in fact, match their personality.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

20 Song Lyrics To Put A Spring Into Your Instagram Captions

"On an island in the sun, We'll be playing and having fun"

32548
Person in front of neon musical instruments; glowing red and white lights.
Photo by Spencer Imbrock on Unsplash

Whenever I post a picture to Instagram, it takes me so long to come up with a caption. I want to be funny, clever, cute and direct all at the same time. It can be frustrating! So I just look for some online. I really like to find a song lyric that goes with my picture, I just feel like it gives the picture a certain vibe.

Here's a list of song lyrics that can go with any picture you want to post!

Keep Reading...Show less
Chalk drawing of scales weighing "good" and "bad" on a blackboard.
WP content

Being a good person does not depend on your religion or status in life, your race or skin color, political views or culture. It depends on how good you treat others.

We are all born to do something great. Whether that be to grow up and become a doctor and save the lives of thousands of people, run a marathon, win the Noble Peace Prize, or be the greatest mother or father for your own future children one day. Regardless, we are all born with a purpose. But in between birth and death lies a path that life paves for us; a path that we must fill with something that gives our lives meaning.

Keep Reading...Show less
Health and Wellness

10 Hygiene Tips For All College Athletes

College athletes, it's time we talk about sports hygiene.

29627
Woman doing pull-ups on bars with sun shining behind her.

I got a request to talk about college athletes hygiene so here it is.

College athletes, I get it, you are busy! From class, to morning workouts, to study table, to practice, and more. But that does not excuse the fact that your hygiene comes first! Here are some tips when it comes to taking care of your self.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments