But, I'm also leaving part of you behind, too.
To the woman I once was:
Hey you. It's been a minute. We haven't connected in a while, especially since my goal was to annex you away from my current attitude and lifestyle. I guess we can say I did a damn good job at that, right?
I used to be so passionate about everything in my life. Passionate about my career. Passionate about my friendships and relationships. Passionate about love. Passionate about being in love with reaching a goal. I was so self-driven.
But, as everyone knows, sometimes negativity takes over the good. I was so down on myself at all hours in the day. I would lay in bed at night, staring at the ceiling, picking at all of the things I needed to work on.
"Be better." "Do more." "You're not trying hard enough." I would focus so much on who I wasn't or what I didn't have that I began to lose those passionate lights in my eyes. It went from being passionate to absolutely obsessive.
I pushed you away because I felt like I was drowning and I was too deep in my thoughts (which I was). I was lost and worried I was falling too deep into the negativity. "I need a new fresh start," I kept telling myself, over and over again.
A fresh start is exactly what I gave myself.
I started to focus less on the details and more on how I feel as an individual in my own skin. My only goal in this new mentality was to be happy. That's it. And each day I defined "happy" as something different. Happy with how my body looks. Happy with the weather and the coffee I had in hand. Happy with life in general. Happy was something different every day, and I truly began to look forward to what each day would bring to allow me to reach my happiness goal.
Although this new me is very happy, positive, and big-picture focussed, I am starting to miss the old you. I miss having goals for myself and striving to surpass them. I miss having the drive to burst out of bed every day because I was excited to get after those goals. I miss the passion that burned in my heart. I miss that part of the old me.
So, here I am, meeting with you again, ready to bring the old me back. Ready to find my passions again, and ready to work towards my goals. I'm excited to combine my new idea of happiness by rediscovering my passions and goals. I'm ready for the challenge, and I'm ready to work on myself more with this process.
But to the negative side of the old me, hear this loud and clear: you can stay as far away as possible. No negativity wanted here.
The Woman Owning It All And Ready To Be Herself Again