If You Say You Love Me Then Why Are You With Her?
An open letter to my ex fiance
How am I supposed to feel knowing you're falling for her? A week ago you said you loved me. One week, 7 days. That's all it was. You're living together now, and you're having twins. I'm happy for you really I am but how am I to feel knowing you're living what was to be our life with her? You tell me we're too different but what if we just never saw the similarities? What if you chose me not her? She wants to meet me, I wonder what you've told her about me, about us. Am I made out to be that ex she's gonna hate? Or did you paint me how I am, just lost and trying to heal from your bruises. You left marks upon me that emotionally I question if I will return from.
Will I ever be whole again or am I just living to keep my heart beating? Is it me who was at fault or was it that life just got in our way? I hate asking the what if's of us but I can't sleep knowing your lying next to her. You say you love me but how much of that is just a show? We both know that we never would have worked out, you were toxic and I was young.
I wanted to finish school first but you wanted to live in the now. What if I gave up everything for you as you wanted? Then what, where would we be now? I regret a lot of things in life and you used to be one of them, not anymore. You taught me lessons I never should have learned but I'm glad I did.
I know now what I deserve and what love really is, it is not what we were or what we are. I guess you got what you wanted with her. I just hope you treat her better than you treated me.
