Ladies And Fellas, It's Time We Learn To Be Our Own Support System
There's not always going to be someone there to do it for you.
One of the hardest things I've had to learn to do this past semester was doing just what this title implies. Support is one of the main things that drives you towards success, and when you don't have it or it's just weaker than what you would like it to be, it can be difficult to recognize that you are accomplishing amazing things.
A lot of times we need to hear "I'm proud of you". Or when you are going through a rough patch we want someone there beside us to help us through it. But the sad truth is, we don't get that all the time.
A good majority of us rely on other people for validation or happiness, which is arguably not the healthiest route, but it's still a part of human nature nonetheless. It's good to have people like that in your life, but to constantly expect that is not healthy and it's also not realistic.
It's time to face the music: You are one day not going to have people around you that are there to constantly be supporting you. And you need to learn how to get through the bad times by yourself. Or when you do something that should be recognizable as 'good', you need to be able to address that you did that amazing thing and not have to rely on someone else to tell you that.
Becoming your own coach, heck even cheerleader, can be so hard. This semester was one of the hardest ones I've had to go through by working two jobs, holding a leadership position in a university club, writing articles for "The Odyssey" once a week, and being a full-time student. It was a lot to juggle.
And with that I didn't have someone telling me they were proud of for getting through the long day everyday, which was an unrealistic expectation on my part, but this fed into feelings of me constantly feeling like I still wasn't doing enough or even doing well because I didn't have anybody there telling me "Good Job!".
And that was difficult. By not having someone constantly give me that validation, I was confused and I felt like I was continuously failing.
But I've had to learn to recognize what is an accomplishment and be proud of myself and not always rely on my friends, roommates, or family to be constantly telling me that. I had to recognize that each victory was a victory, no matter how small it may have been.
The same can be said for those who are going down darker paths by experiencing a serious trauma or even a death with someone you were close to. We sometimes have to live through these experiences without anyone else beside us.
I'm not even going to sugarcoat it: that sucks. It sucks a whole lot. But the sooner you learn to be your own support system, the easier these things will be to handle.
We need to have supportive people in our lives. That's just basic psychology. But we can't always rely on someone to be doing all the supporting for us.
It's been said so many times that "You are your worst critic" but I want to challenge people to see the flip-side of this idea and start saying "You are your best cheerleader." It's about time we start actually applying that idea and see just where it might take us.
