5 Love Lessons I Learned From Watching My Parents Instead Of Rom-Coms
Romantic comedies are great for the entertainment, not the love advice.
I've always been a mix of a realist and a romantic. I know that love isn't always what we see in the movies, but despite that, it's still worth fighting for.
The most amazing fragment that makes up humanity is our ability to love and be loved.
Even though I'm a huge fan of romantic comedies, I never fell for or looked up to the expectations they set. Movies love to glamorize men who obsess over the girl 24/7 or the quirky girl that charms the popular jock. Instead, I chose to admire a real love - the love story of my parents.
I'm one of the lucky people that got to grow up in a household with parents who had a loving and stable relationship that helped set the precedent on my view of love. My parents have been married for 28 years now, and for the 18 years I've been around, I was able to learn from them what love should be. I was able to learn that even though perfection can't be defined, it can come pretty close to being achieved. Everyone deserves to be with someone who treats and loves you like you deserve.
Everyone deserves someone who matches the realistic expectations and comes close to the slightly unrealistic expectations a person has for an ideal partner.
My mom always told me that patience is the key to finding the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Love can't be rushed or forced, and when you least expect it, you will meet the one. I've learned many lessons from my parents about everything in life, but some of the most important have been about love.
1. Love does not make a lasting relationship.
My parents always told me that while love is important in a relationship, it's not what makes a relationship last — hard work does. It's choosing to work through differences and hardships. It's about making the choice to love and be in a relationship with that person every single day.
2. Find the person who makes you want to be a better person.
Love isn't about changing for a person. It's about becoming that person organically by being with them. It's about finding a person who is complimentary, not compatible. It's that person who has certain traits you don't have to help create a perfect balance.
3. You can never say "I love you" too much.
One thing I noticed is that not a day goes by without my dad or mom saying "I love you." It's a phrase that causes a smile to bloom on both faces or turn their bad day into a good one. And this isn't just a tip for romantic relationships, but it's important for all relationships. You can never say "I love you" or show your affection for someone too much.
4. Love is hard work, but it shouldn't be work you hate.
Love is hard but that doesn't mean you should feel like loving someone is a chore. It should be work that, even though it's hard at times, the end result is what makes it worth it. Even though there are periods of hardships and obstacles, there are also periods of happiness and contentment.
5. Love is allowing yourself to be vulnerable.
One aspect that makes love hard for some people is that for love to work you have to allow the person to see you in your most vulnerable state. It's letting a person know your insecurities and trusting them to not use them against you. It's knowing what makes them happy, sad, or angry and knowing how to bring each of those emotions out. It's trusting a person to build you up because they know how to and not bringing you down because they know that too.
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