Stop Making Excuses To Not Speak Up And Start Practicing What You Preach
Staying silent is just about the worst thing you can do.
I have always been an advocate for the #spreadthewordtoendtheword movement. In high school, I was very involved in Best Buddies, which is an organization dedicated to fostering inclusion and one-on-one friendships with students with an intellectual or developmental disability. I am so passionate about inclusion and what it stands for and I plan to show my support to the community for the rest of my life.
However, I will admit that I very rarely speak out about the cause. Of course, when it comes to my close friends and family, I will happily chime in when I believe that someone says something inappropriate or derogatory, regardless of what it is. Yet there have been countless times where I've heard people in the elevators of my dorms using terrible terms, such as the r-word, casually in conversation, and I don't speak up. It's not because I don't care, rather it's purely just uncomfortable and difficult to speak up to strangers. I know this is wrong and is only facilitating people to continue with these behaviors, but it's just not something I feel comfortable doing yet and I hope that people understand where I'm coming from.
But after a recent experience, I am ready to finally speak out about the matter. A few weeks ago in one of my big lecture halls, my professor showed us a video demonstration related to the topic we were learning about. Before showing the video, he made a disclaimer, jokingly saying "Sorry this video is a little _____," well, you can fill in the blank.
My jaw literally (and figuratively) dropped. I couldn't even fathom that my professor, who is a well-educated, reputable man, and someone who I respected, could use a word so casually. I was mortified, along with my friends sitting next to me, and I'm sure many others in the class were as well. I'm not exaggerating when I say that he wasn't even phased by it! He just giggled and returned to teaching, without a second thought.
The rest of the class proceeded like normal, although I had a really hard time being able to focus and take in what he was saying. To be quite honest with you, the lectures to follow became equally as difficult. You would think that in 2019 everyone, especially professors at on a liberal college campus, would be educated and frankly have enough common sense to realize that saying that in front of a classroom of 300 students let alone, in general, is offensive and just not okay.
As terrible and troubling as that is, we still have a bigger issue. To my knowledge, no one, including myself, spoke up to this professor. For all we know, he literally could just be completely uneducated on the cause (he is from Colombia so that could be a factor I'm honestly not sure...or he just lives under a rock). Coincidentally that day we had to stay after class to fill out an evaluation form on our professor and the course in general, and I did make note of it on the sheet. However, I know that it would've made more of a difference to express my feelings directly in person. But again, I was too nervous and crafted every excuse not to do it.
That's our culture, though. There are so many people I know, including myself, that avoid confrontation at all costs. When it comes to speaking up about something that bothers us, we say we're busy, we don't want to make waves, or it's just not the right time, and that's a huge problem. If we don't speak up, there is no way we can make a change. Staying silent is just about the worst thing you can do. Not only are you doing nothing to help the cause, but it's also just about the biggest guilt trip you'll ever get.
So how do we do that? How do we gain the confidence to fully express our opinions and what we stand for? My guess is as good as yours. Clearly, I am not a master at this, and I don't have that confidence, either. But I am going to challenge myself and you as well to slowly ease into the process. The next time someone does something that bothers you or goes against your beliefs, say something. Just once, do it. It doesn't need to be some huge gesture, it just needs to impact one person. Words are difficult to craft, but they are also so important and have the power to leave a lasting impression on someone. It's time that we do our part to make a difference in this world.
End Hate. Photo by T. Chick McClure on Unsplash
