Starbucks' New Limited-Edition Phantom Frapp Is Totally Black, Slimy, And Belongs In The Garbage
Sorry Starbucks, but I'd rather not drink your nasty science experiment!
Starbucks just came out with their newest Halloween concoction: the Phantom Frappuccino. It sounds pretty appealing - it's vegan and full of fruity flavors like mango, pineapple, and coconut. It doesn't sound too bad right?
Pruébame… si te atreves #PhantomFrappuccino *Disponible del 21 de octubre al 1 de noviembre en todas nuestras tien… https://t.co/n8oNrC5XcH— Starbucks España (@Starbucks España) 1571647603.0
Oh, yeah. I forgot to mention that it's BLACK and covered in GREEN SLIME. I'm sorry, but that's disgusting. I don't care how fruity and sweet this Frapp is - I DO NOT want it. I don't want to see it, and I sure as heck DON'T want to drink it.
Thankfully, this nasty mix is only available in certain European markets, which means I don't have to see anyone around me Instagramming it or walking around campus with it. Also, it's VERY limited-edition - this ghoulishly gross drink is only available from October 26 to 31. Thank goodness, because I don't think I could handle this thing existing for more than a week.
It honestly looks like a science experiment gone very, very WRONG. I just don't understand - why and how is it black? What exactly is the green slime? Why would a fruity flavored drink be such an unappealing color?
I'm all for everything spooky and Halloween-themed, but this is just too far. Disgusting and gruesome looks are perfect for Halloween, but those looks are NOT something I want to see in my food or beverages. A fruity-flavored drink? Awesome. A black and lime green slimy concoction? Yeah, absolutely NOT awesome.
To whichever high-up executive that thought this would be a good idea, you owe an apology to me and Starbucks-lovers everywhere. Honestly, you owe your brand an apology because this monstrosity of a drink does NOT belong in the safe haven that is Starbucks. There is one place and one place only that this frightening Frapp belongs: the garbage.
