10 Songs That Have Helped Me Survive My Depression
I found my solace in music.
In honor of World Mental Health Day, I wanted to post something other than just my experience – something more concrete that may be of better help to whoever might be reading this right now amidst their own struggle. Below are the names of the songs, the artists' names, and my favorite lines from them. These songs got me through some of my darkest days — they made me feel heard and they made me feel understood. I hope they can do the same for you.
1. "In My Blood," Shawn Mendes
"Help me, it's like the walls are caving in."
"Laying on the bathroom floor, feeling nothing. I'm overwhelmed and insecure, give me something I could take the easy my mind slowly."
"Keep telling me that it gets better, does it ever?"
"Feeling anxious, afraid to be alone I hate this. I'm tryna find a way to chill, can't breathe, oh is there somebody who could help me?"
"I need somebody now. Someone to help me out. I need somebody now."
2. "Hold On," Chord Overstreet
"You locked yourself in the bathroom, lying on the floor when I breakthrough, I pull you in to feel your heart, can you hear me screaming 'Please don't leave me.'"
"Long endless highways."
"Hold on, I still want you. Come back, I still need you."
3. "Hold On," Shawn Mendes
"I think too much when I'm alone."
"And my dad said, Shawn, stay with me. Everything will be alright."
"I don't know what you're going through, but there's so much life ahead of you. And it won't slow down no matter what you do, so you just gotta hold on."
4. "Before You Go," Lewis Capaldi
"When you hurt under the surface, like troubled water running cold."
"If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather."
"So, before you go, was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting?"
"It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless."
5. "His Daughter," Molly Kate Kestner
"Broken hearts and scars in only places she could see, cause she just wanted, she just wanted to feel something."
"If there's a God out there please hear my prayer, I'm lost and I'm scared and I've got nowhere else to run."
"I've come a long, long way but I'm not sure I can make it much farther."
6. "Be Alright," Dean Lewis
"So I still look back at all the messages you'd sent and I know it wasn't right, but it was fucking with my head."
"It'll be alright."
7. "Iris," Goo Goo Dolls
"And I don't want the world to see me, 'cause I don't think they'd understand."
"And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming."
"Yeah, you just bleed to know you're alive."
"I just want you to know who I am."
8. "Pieces," Rob Thomas
"We leave our pieces on the ground, we see no end, we don't know how, we are lost and we're falling."
"Hold onto me, you're all I have."
9. "She Went Quietly," Charlie Winston
"There's really not so much to tell. She was 29, showing signs of doing well for herself. She never spoke of feeling sad."
"'Cause she went quietly. She didn't make a sound. With the wish not to be found."
"Just a note that wrote: 'Forgetting is easier.'"
10. "Clean," Travis Atreo
"Rain came pouring down when I was drowning, that's when I could finally breathe."
The water filled my lungs, I screamed so loud but no one heard a thing."
For More You Have to Listen
A podcast in the making. Hopefully
Making a podcast has been on my mind since about August, but due to the craziness of life and school, my friend, Sam, and I have yet to sit down and record. But we have content, we've both been learning, listening, and taking note from the world around us. Though we don't have an actual recording we still have our initial passion and excitement for the project.
Earlier this year I started to outline some thoughts and ideas for our first episode, and I thought I would share. Who knows what our first podcast will truly be about. That's honestly the beauty of the spoken word, with it comes conversation and conversation can go anywhere. That being said, I do hope some of our conversations revolve around our current central theme of music. Here a little taste test owhat'sts to come. :)
Now this whole podcast idea got lodged in our heads a few months ago, when on return from Summer break, Sam and I decided, in the best of words, to revamp our friendship. Now that might make you think that maybe Sam and I were volatile friends attempting to mend a broken relationship with a collaborative podcast. In reality, Sam and I had fallen out of touch since becoming close friends in the beginning of freshman year. I think both of us realized somewhere between summer and fall that our lives were better with each other in them. So we did something about it. A weekly lunch, and from there, I guess a podcast.
A common topic that we always seemed to come back to seemed to be music, specifically rap, a genre that has always and will always fascinate, enlighten, and teach me. A topic Sam and I both just loved and love, hence the podcast. But it wasn't till winter break when both Sam and I had time to lay around and ponder till we really found the urge and content to have our podcast.
Partially inspired by the work of Cole Cuchna in his incredibly captivating and informative podcast "Dissect" in which Cuchna dives into the fractured, confused, enlightened, and genius subconscious and psyche of America's most influential rappers. Starting with, who I think of as, the modern day Fredrick Douglas, Kendrick Lamar. In listening to this podcast I was enthralled. Hungry for the ability to understand who Kendrick Lamar really is. Who he is on the outside, I wanted to understand his story. Know what makes him him, I wanted to learn about his environment, and the trials and life this man has been subject to. A life, environment, and upbringing so strikingly different from my sheltered childhood as a product of one of America's richest ski resort towns. Kendrick and I seemed to be opposites, but then I started listening, and I somehow remembered or discovered, I am not really sure how I figured it out but, I learned that Kendrick and I may be different on the outside, but he and I were much more similar on the inside than I could have ever thought. Derived from alternate circumstances we both went through a process, or rather a battle, with ourselves.
A major theme through Kendrick's album "To Pimp a Butterfly" is that of the human struggle of duality. A highly complicated internal concept that I, myself, had been battling and suffering from unknowingly for many years. Where Kendrick battled between living with both a Compton mentality, and a mentality formed from fame, money, and influence. I battled with the internal stronghold that forms when an anxiety disorder goes unseen, uncontrolled and takes captive of certain parts of the brain. Nonetheless, both Kendrick and I seemed to take refuge in words, in music, in learning. For me, first grasping to the words for the quick high in which they aid the mind from its internal pain, and later understanding and loving the power and incredible healing component that music holds.
So that's what this podcast is. An exploration. An exploration of music and the people behind the bars. Starting first with Kendrick Lamar and ending who knows where.