5 Things I Wish I Would Have Said To My Ex When It Still Mattered
From "I hate you" to "I miss you". All stages in the relationship grieving process are different, but I'm sure we've all gone through the different feelings towards an ex.
After any sort of breakup, there is always some heartache. But when these breakups come years into a relationship, and with little notice, people tend to go through some serious mood changes towards the situation.
Of course, it starts with disbelief (unless deep down you were always telling yourself it just wouldn't work). And sometimes, this emotion can be the one to cause the most pain. Then somewhere in your brain, you start to think you'd rather take them back than deal with the pain any more, so you miss and continue to forgive their actions.
Once this goes unnoticed, you're likely to hate them and end up realizing that you actually owe them a huge thank you for getting you out of that mess now.
How Could You.
For me, the first string of emotions. How could you up and leave after months, years, decades together. How could you wake up one morning and decide that was going to be the morning that you ended our lives together and moved on to find something "better". This emotion is one of the more loaded ones. It comes with confusion, anger, pain, sadness and even sometimes want. You still want the person you knew to exist deep inside them, but first you just need to know... how could you do this to me?
I Miss You.
Days, weeks, months... however long it takes I'm sure at somepoint you'll find yourself saying it. The nights seem colder without someone by your side and you think that love can fix anything. At this point, you even convince yourself to believe that being with someone who doesn't want to be with you, is better than being alone. So more than likely you willbreak down and send that late-night phone call or text message you'll soon regret: I miss you.
I Forgive You.
The I miss you's and forgive you's thoughts come together, and for the lucky ones they may never come at all. For those of us who do miss our ex at somepoint, will begin to believe that what actually happened was no big deal, and you're ready to move on. You look past all of the concerning and borderline abusive encounters and convince yourself if you just have the time to show them how much you care, you can get past this.
I Hate You.
Luckily for me, I spent a very short amount of time in the "I miss you" stage, and moved right on to this one. During these feelings, you regret the entirety of the relationship, and start to think, feel and believe very negative things about your entire relationship. This is when you might be doing spiteful things, or considering fooling around with their best friend to hurt them as badly as they hurt you, but you don't. Because before you know it, you're out of this phase and finally to the point that it'll change your entire outlook.
I Want To Thank You.
After coming to the realization that such a traumatizing breakup has only made you stronger, you'll want to thank the person responsible for teaching you such valuable lessons. Thank you for showing me my worth. For a while I felt as negatively about myself as you treated me, but soon realized I am so much more than that. Thank you for the memories because, well... they can't all be bad. And lastly, thank you for letting me go. The relationship we were in was one I thought I saw being my forever. It was one I never though I'd have the strength to leave, and because you did, I'm forever thankful for that.
We all experience heartbreak different, and some of you may never feel some of these emotions. But for me, they were all extremely important steps to realizing that a breakup is okay. It's okay to be heartbroken, and it's okay to feel all of the emotions, to miss them and want to be with them. All of it is okay, but it's so important that you end up realizing that not only are these emotions okay, but that you are okay too. You'll move on and learn and grow from situations from these, and that's the most important part to remember.
