Dead batteries
Legend has it, if you try to stand it up on the positive end and it stays, it's good.
...And good batteries. Good luck trying to figure out which is which.
Unfortunately, it is impossible to tell the difference between the two. You can't throw batteries in the trash, so what better way to dispose of them than to keep them in the junk drawer?
Magnets
Why they're in the drawer and not on the fridge is beyond you, but that's where they'll stay. Maybe it's because it lost the magnetic piece, but you can't bring yourself to get rid of it?
A roll of tape without the holder
You buy new scotch tape every holiday, and the plastic holder breaks. You keep the roll of tape, but buy a new one anyway.
A screwdriver
You have a toolbox in the basement, but you never know when a screwdriver might come in handy.
Old birthday cards
You have every card from every birthday that your grandma has given you. You just can't bring yourself to throw them out.
Rubber bands
Some of them are broken, some are retied, some are multicolored, you name it.
Safety scissors
They're a little rusty, but they still cut when you need 'em to.
Glue
Of the super, Elmer's, gorilla, and stick variety. If you're lucky you've got that opaque blue Elmer's glue.
Sharpies that don't work
They're partially dried out, but you convince yourself you have to keep them for when you can't find a pen.
Paper clips
They have desktop holders for these things, yet somehow they end up in the drawer anyway.
Thumbtacks
You can only find these sneaky little bastards when they poke you. If you're actually looking for them? Forget about it
A ruler
Just in case you need to... you know, measure stuff?
Those pencils with the horrible erasers
You know, those shitty yellow ones that never sharpen right, with the horrible pink erasers that smudge whatever you're trying to do. Yes, you're bitter about it, but you keep them anyway.
A bunch of useless stuff from the front glass case at the arcade
None of it works, but you might one day feel the urge to bounce that fluorescent orange bouncy ball that doesn't actually bounce right.
Plastic handheld pencil sharpener
It's for the shitty yellow pencils with the smudgy erasers.
