30 Things That Happen To The Kids Without Parents
Last-minute realizations, avoidable experiences, and questions you just shouldn't ask people
I could summarize this entire post in one simple sentence and call it a day. I could choose to deal with my own problems and ignore others' because they don't affect me. I could gloss over the subject and pretend none of it is real. But that wouldn't be fair, mature, or loving of myself or others.
So with that, I don't think there's anything truer I can say besides I know what it's like.
I had little to no interaction with my parents. I lived with my maternal aunt and grandmother and hadn't a clue why. The confusion probably hurt me more than knowing ever would've. Obviously, there are things you just don't tell children. You'll spoil their innocence. Or, they'll understand when they're older. But for kids without parents, it's almost impossible to get it through their heads not to mature so quickly (before it's socially "time"). It's like telling the sun not to rise tomorrow. You just can't.
But I digress. I give a snapshot of my hidden experiences here with the hopes that I help...comfort...give love to someone else. Just letting y'all out there know you're not alone.
My entire second grade class asked me where my dad was after I said he "was" something.
I was also the new kid in town at that time. Nice.
My third grade teacher excluded me from Mother's Day arts and crafts because she knew I didn't have a mom.
A boy in my class asked if I was a robot because I had no parents. Also Batman (how would that work???).
Another boy (same class) asked, "Is your dad dead?" in front of the whole class on Father's Day.
When my mom wasn't my chaperone for the Mommy Daughter Dance, a girl noticed and told me I shouldn't have bothered coming.
I never saw their faces in the audience at any of my choral concerts growing up.
My junior high advisor mentioned it was abnormal that I wasn't living with my parents.
An ex-boyfriend told me it was no wonder I was so problematic.
(What with being an "orphan" and all. You know, the usual).
I graduated high school with no one in the bleachers cheering for me.
I got looks for bringing my only picture of my parents and I to my graduation ceremony.
They didn't get to congratulate me on my first job.
Or the next. Or the next...
I never got to tell them I got accepted to my dream college.
My mom and I were supposed to get matching tattoos.
My parents will never know I left that toxic boyfriend they worried about.
I look at drugs, alcohol, and addictions from a completely different angle than other kids my age.
I grew up never knowing what true love was.
I never got to have "mother-daughter gossip."
I never had a male role model in my life.
My mom never got to meet my best friends. Just some good-for-nothing boy that broke my heart.
I grew up cold toward tragedy. Grieving is hard now. Things just seem to happen.
I see parents with their college students now and it never fails to break my heart.
I won't have my dad to walk me down the aisle.
I won't have my mom to do any girl bonding with.
The last image I have of them is the most haunting.
I rethink our last conversations all the time and speculate.
I see their auras in the world around me. Sometimes it's freaky.
I have dreams about them all the time.
Sometimes good. Sometimes bad.
The Best Way To Eat Around A Nutrition Major Is To Eat Whatever You Want
Now I don't want it to seem like I am not passionate about helping my friends or family achieve their nutrition goals. But only if they ask for it.
Eat whatever you want.
A lot of friends have made comments about being uncomfortable to eat in front of me knowing I am a nutrition major. At first, I was really taken back but then I realized what the real issue is here.
I think more people need to understand that your comments about other people's lives and choices aren't appreciated when they aren't asked for. Too many people put their two cents in on topics that they shouldn't. Food choices and diets can be a very sensitive topic for people and comments from friends that may happen to be nutrition majors doesn't make that any better.
Now I don't want it to seem like I am not passionate about helping my friends or family achieve their nutrition goals. But only if they ask for it. I don't want to generalize everyone in my major but there is a stigma around nutrition majors that they force information down your throat about your food choices. Which I understand because other people in my major have done that to me. I understand how uncomfortable that is. But I also understand that they have good intentions, they're just going about it wrong since you didn't ask for their opinion before they gave it to you.
I want you to know that I am not the perfect nutrition major. I don't have a food Instagram devoted to my vegan dinners and workout routines. I don't always cook and bake things from scratch. And I definitely eat way too many Oreos. And there's nothing wrong with that. I like to think I'm realistic (sometimes even a little lazy) but I'm in college and I understand that there is a struggle to eat healthier. I'm completely in love with my major and everything it stands for. But I'm not going to shame you into eating better. So yeah, order that second dessert while we're out to dinner. Just remember to ask for an extra spoon for me.