today I am thankful for life. today I am thankful for carbs, even though I had way too much the past month in Paris.

wait.

did you just hear that sentence? it was super positive, but then I just HAD to throw something negative in there.

carbs are BAD apparently, as some people think. especially the ones on keto (if you're reading this, all love to you, but seriously it's okay go out and eat a sandwich). yeah, carbs aren't the best. and i ate WAY too much of them.

but it's easy for one to miss the end of my sentence where I said i spent a MONTH in PARIS.

i got to life in the place that has been my dream destination since I was a little kid FOR AN ENTIRE MONTH! and it was one of the most exhilarating, challenging, amazing months of my entire life.

i went to a foreign city not knowing much of the language, completely and utterly by myself, not knowing a single person in my study abroad group yet alone the entire city.

you should've seen my face when I walked into my hostel and I discovered that most everyone in Paris doesn't understand a single word in the English language.

those experiences happened to me a lot throughout the month, especially in my French classes. gosh, the FRENCH CLASSES. i hated going to them because it challenged me. to think my teacher would actually try and challenge me! i'm just trying to experience Paris, I don't want to be challenged, Madame Lyon. the audacity she had to pair me up with a girl from Sweden who knew NOT ONE LICK of English yet alone barely anything in French — to then explain to me that I had to WRITE a STORY in FRENCH. WITH HER. tears immediately flew to my eyes out of frustration and being completely overwhelmed. that's being challenged for sure.

but do you want to know what the best part of challenge is? the human mind hates it because it's scared of challenge. our ego makes us think we don't need to be challenged, for we already know enough. but, in reality, once we push our ego back and embrace the challenge, we accomplish more than we could have ever thought was possible.

to answer your question, i did, in fact, write a story with the Swedish girl. was it 100% successful? of course not. but we tried. and at first it was frustrating, but we came up with a system to understand each other and laughed through the pain. i'm thankful for that challenge.

ugh there were just SO many frustrating challenges on my trip in Paris. another one being not knowing anyone in my study abroad group. you see, I go to Arizona State University. i tried to get in a study abroad group there, but I got waitlisted unfortunately. luckily, I live in Auburn, Alabama, where I have Auburn University to come and save the day for me. they allowed me to come on their summer abroad trip, and I accepted. with that in mind, I was immediately the outcast.

now, I know myself. i'm extremely extroverted, and I can make friends in no time. or so I have in the past. connecting with people has always been easy for me and so I had no doubt I would make friends instantly. however, this month in Paris really has the goal to CHALLENGE me even more. to be frankly honest, i did not make friends super easily on this trip. and for a long time that bothered me. thoughts like "what's wrong with me" and "why wouldn't anyone EVER want to be my friend, people have always liked me right off the bat" flew through my mind (as terrible as that sounds). it made me really sad in the beginning, and I felt lost in this huge city without anyone to explore it with. after about a week, I just wanted to give up. i was done with it all and wanted to go back to Arizona, with all my friends and all the comfort. but, i knew I had to get through the challenge. and because I decided to push the challenge, I made some of the best friends and memories that I'll keep with me for my entire life.

dancing and roaming the city of Paris until 6am, laughing in our hostel until we're crying, making TikToks with Parisians, and so much more. i would never have had the best month of my life if I hadn't had embrace that challenge and so many more that I had to go through.

the moral of my story is, it is easy for one to be negative. it's easy to hate challenge and it's so easy to ignore them and look to comfort in our lives. but within every negative, there is a positive. and in that positive, there is life.

and life is imperfect. it's challenging and it's full of painful moments. but life is also beautiful. and I think I'm going to continue pushing my soul to see those beautiful moments even in the worst times of my life. what do i have to lose?