The Life Of A UNE Student As Told By Spongebob
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Student Life

The Life Of A UNE Student As Told By Spongebob

Who lives in a pineapple and is drowning in school work?

The Life Of A UNE Student As Told By Spongebob

Being a student at the University of New England is an unique experience filled with squirrel memorials, late night beach adventures and countless popcorn induced fire alarms. We'd be lying if we said that we didn't ride the struggle bus at least once a day. Like many college students Spongebob never seems to have it the easiest but makes the most out of his day. Just like us he knows the struggles we go through on an almost daily basis which normally hit us from the moment our day starts.

1. Waking up for your 8 am has you regretting your life decisions

"What the hell was I thinking? I wish I had as much energy as I did when I thought signing up for an 8 am four times a week was a good idea."

2. But you patiently wait for that email from Don Clark saying that classes are canceled


3. However you and the rest of campus soon realize that his email is never coming

"Ok class is at 8, but it's only 7:56... that means Don still has four minutes."

4. So you give up and begin the freezing cold walk across campus to Morganne

"Why did I decided to live in Soko when my 8 am is in the MAR?"

"I thought I went to school in Maine, not Antarctica."

"Mother Nature, we get that it's snowing but you're not helping me out at all so please stop."

5. And right from the start your physics professor thinks you can actually function and do complex magnetism questions this early

"A student at rest in bed will stay at rest unless acted upon by an 8 am physics lab."

6. Three hours later your calculus professor decides to spring a pop quiz on you and you feel personally attacked with all trust thrown out the window

"Please find the derivative of the tears running down my face."

7. Somehow you manage to survive and head to Decary to eat your feelings in chicken patties, french fries and Gifford's ice cream

"I don't care if I have to run to the bathroom 100 times later, I NEED TO EAT NOW."

8. Sitting in your oceanography class you struggle to stay awake and wish you could just climb back into bed for the rest of your life

"The only waves I care about are my brain waves when I'm sleeping."

9. But all of a sudden you hear someone saying how Bodacious Burgers are coming to the forum for dinner and you feel wide awake


10. After class you realize that it's finally Friday and it's time to let loose

"Don't tell em, don't tell em. UNE don't tell em. UNE. UNE."

11. But an RA knocks on your door and panic ensues

"Quick take down that tapestry!!! Oh my god hide that toaster oven. You put away the plastic lamp and the extension cord right???"

12. You open your door only to realize that you're just being invited to a floor program aka FREE PAPA JOHNS

"We get that this floor program is supposed to be 'mandatory' but I'm 'in class' unless there is free food."

13. Waking up the next morning you see questionable pictures from last night posted on your best friends Snapchat story

"Oh my god we went to the beach last night. WAIT THATS OOB. How did I get there??? Wait... we went to Portland too???"

14. Instead of laying in bed you decide that you're going to do something productive, like cleaning the suite... only to give up about an hour later

"This pile of recycling that has been piling up really needs to go. But then again that would require me to go to the dumpster and that would require me to put pants on."

15. So instead you go and manage to eat almost all the food in your dorm room since somehow you only have $3 in Flex left

"So what if I ate four things of mac n cheese, a hot pocket and thing of Ben and Jerrys? I mean I kinda had to. No one would go to Decary with me and I already spent all my flex on peanut butter protein smoothies and BBQ chicken quesadilla combos.

16. Saturday has come and gone and you tell yourself you actually have to get things done today

"Wait I could have sworn it was noon an hour ago. Oh wait thats right, one hour in Netflix time is like five hours in real time. My bad."

17. But the moment you log on to your computer the wifi (or Blackboard) stops working

"This is the universe telling me that I shouldn't be doing homework today."

18. What feels like three years later you finally submit your paper

"I'm not really sure what I just wrote about for this English paper but it will have to do."

19. Only to remember you have three exams this upcoming week


20. So you decided your done and make your way to the Bird Sanctuary in an attempt to avoid all your responsibilities

"Sorry but I just can't do this right now. I need to go take some artsy pictures of waves crashing into rocks and post it on Instagram with song lyrics as a caption. After that I plan on exploring Kennebunkport and then taking up permanent residence at the Holy Donut."

Keep it together my fellow Nor'Easters. Only 8 more weeks until Summer Break.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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