Sorority Life— It Wasn't For Me

Sorority Life— It Wasn't For Me

It wasn't for me, but that doesn't mean it won't be for you.

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Take it from a former sorority girl. I did not have a good experience with my organization. I'm not saying every organization will be like this, but a lot of them run themselves in a similar fashion.

I joined late. I was a junior in college when I went through recruitment. A lot of organizations cut you immediately if you aren't a freshman. This wasn't a problem. There were two organizations on my small campus that were interested in not only freshman.

I'm plus size. People don't usually equate plus size with sororities but still -there were two organizations on my campus that did not make me feel inadequate.

I'm a woman of color. Now this one was a little harder. Every organization had like one, maybe two or three or four women of color. But it was the most diverse organization I wanted.

And I got it.

But none of these things was the problem.

It seems that there are various other reasons why, other than my physical appearance, that I might have trouble in Greek life.

I struggled to make friends. Everyone does at first. But it seemed like because I wasn't Christian it was a little more difficult to connect with people on our core values.

I struggled to understand the rules and regulations. I'm not a bad person and I don't tend to promote my self-image as anything I'm not. But it seemed I was in trouble for something all the time.

Leadership positions aren't always cracked up to what they are. I took a small position within my organization. It was not organized and there was no training. I went to one glorified staff meeting a semester and tried to explain my goals for a position I didn't understand.

I went to parties and events, sure, but I was still not making friends.

And then I went on a study abroad.

On my study abroad program, I made friends with the first person I sat down next to on the plane. He told me he thought I was the worst when I first met him, but we ended up being really close. I made friends with a few incredible girls and started to feel that love, support, and unconditional kindness that I was expecting from my sorority. Sometimes, it just isn't a right fit for you.

I distinctly remember a day where I went out on a limb in my sorority. A girl had a Harry Potter planner. I desperately wanted to be her friend. More than anything. So I reached out, we made brunch plans, and next thing I know, I heard she dropped the sorority and I never heard from her again. She said her values didn't match up with the sorority's priorities and couldn't do it any longer.

So nearly a year later, after a study abroad program that changed my life, I dropped my organization.

Do I regret it?

Not really. I don't miss having to pretend to be someone else. I don't miss having to lie about how I was feeling.

It was our sorority bid day that I really realized I wasn't meant to be in the organization anymore. People in my face for not being cheery enough. People in my face saying how glad they were that I was back from study abroad but never talked to me. People, who somehow heard that I was planning on dropping, not minding their business and asking me point blank about it in front of the new members, were really starting to annoy me. So I emailed the president and set up a meeting. Nothing stays secret for long, so I told her the truth. I wanted out.

It wasn't the right fit for me and it may not be the right fit for you. Don't push yourself to be there if you don't want to be. Don't push yourself to be there if it's not the right fit.

I was having anxiety attacks every single chapter day, every single meeting day.

I took a leadership position on my study abroad. I was an assistant to the directors. I worked twice a week directly with the students and I never felt nervous or unclear on what to do. I had a support system behind me.

I have the unconditional love and support of my friends around me. You don't have to stay in your sorority if it's not where you want to be.

Sometimes, it's just not the right fit.

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The Thank You My Dad Deserves

While our moms are always the heroes, our dads deserve some credit, too.
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Dear Dad,

You’ve gone a really long time without being thanked. I'm not talking about thanks for things like opening the Gatorade bottle I couldn't or checking my tires when my car’s maintenance light is flashing, but rather the thanks I owe you for shaping me into the person I am today.

Thank you for teaching me what I deserve and for not letting me settle for anything less.

While the whole world was telling me I wasn’t good enough, you were there to tell me I was. Whether this was with boys, a friend, or anything else, you always built my confidence to a place I couldn’t build it to on my own. You showed me what my great qualities were and helped me feel unique. But most of all, you never let me settle for anything less than what I deserved, even when I wanted to. Without you, I wouldn’t be nearly as ambitious, outgoing or strong.

Thank you for giving me someone to make proud.

It’s hard to work hard when it’s just for myself, but so easy when it’s for you. All through school, nothing made me happier than getting a good grade back because I knew I got to come home and tell you. With everything I do, you give me a purpose.

SEE ALSO: 20 Things You Say When Calling Your Dad On The Phone

Thank you for showing me what selflessness looks like.

You are the prime example of what putting your family first looks like. If me wanting something means that you can’t get what you want, you’ll always sacrifice. From wearing the same t-shirts you’ve had since I was in elementary school so I could buy the new clothes I wanted, to not going out with your friends so you could come to my shows, you never made a decision without your family at the forefront of your mind. If there is one quality you have that I look up to you for the most, it’s your ability to completely put your needs aside and focus entirely on the wants of others.

Thank you for being the voice in the back of my head that shows me wrong from right.

Even though many of your dad-isms like “always wear a seatbelt” easily get old, whenever I’m in a situation and can’t decide if what I’m doing is right or wrong, I always can hear you in the back of my head pointing me in the right direction. While I may not boost your ego often enough by telling you you’re always right, you are.

Thank you for being real with me when nobody else will.

Being your child hasn’t always been full of happiness and encouragement, but that’s what makes you such an integral part of my life. Rather than sugarcoating things and always telling me I was the perfect child, you called me out when I was wrong. But what separates you from other dads is that instead of just knocking me down, you helped me improve. You helped me figure out my faults and stood by me every step of the way as I worked to fix them.

Most of all, thank you for showing me what a great man looks like.

I know that marriage may seem very far down the road, but I just want you to know that whoever the guy I marry is, I know he’ll be right because I have an amazing guy to compare him to. I know you’re not perfect (nobody is), but you’ve raised me in a such a way that I couldn’t imagine my kids being raised any differently. Finding a guy with your heart, drive, and generosity will be tough, but I know it will be worth it.


Dad, you’re more than just my parent, but my best friend. You’re there for me like nobody else is and I couldn’t imagine being where I am now without you.

Love you forever,

Your little girl

Cover Image Credit: Caity Callan

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I've Been Skeptical About The Holidays For A Couple Years, But I'm Ready For Them This Year

Finally decided to stop calling the Grinch my animal spirit.

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The holidays have finally reached us, and I think I speak for many of us when I say that we are excited to be able to breathe from school and spend time with our loved ones -- and to eat food, tons of it.

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But for some others, the holidays are a time that reminisces bad moment in their lives. They become a time of sadness and dark pasts. Loved ones have different faces, and homes, where good wishes are shared, have different walls painted a different color.

About four years ago, I left my country and moved to the US -- new traditions and adventures. The holidays weren't easy for my first year. I achingly missed my parents and family from Honduras. The holidays here didn't seem as exciting without all the people I had spent them countless times before.

In Honduras, on Christmas Eve we would always go visit my grandmother from my dad's side for lunch. In the afternoon, I would have dinner with my parents and brother, and then we'd go to church. After that, we would always go to my mom's family to receive midnight and have a sort of party. That was something that I always looked forward to.

The holidays here weren't as adventurous as they were over there. I would stay all day home and wait till food was served and just spend it with my family until we all decided it was time to go to sleep. They seemed pretty dull for the first two years. But now, my boring, asocial ass is fascinated with the simpleness of the holidays.

Sure, here people take the holidays more seriously than we did in Honduras, but I never assimilated. I began seeing the holidays as another day, except that deliciously exquisite food was going to be served that day. It was not like my mom's food nor like my grandmother's. Everything was different, and this difference weighed heavily on me.

Fast-forward to the present day, and I'm still kind of skeptical about the holidays. I don't get the spirit anymore, and till today, it still hasn't hit me. The only thing that I can think of is that the year is soon going to be over.

The one thing I am excited for is being able to celebrate the holidays with the new family I've been slowly building. My partner is accepted and loved by my relatives, and they invited him over to spend Christmas with us. One of my new best friends was also invited. Being able to spend this time with them kinda shines a glimmer on the idea that I have of the holidays.

This new fresh addition to my life have given me many blissful pleasures this 2018, and I know that with them, I'll probably begin to cherish the holidays a little bit more.

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