Take it from a former sorority girl. I did not have a good experience with my organization. I'm not saying every organization will be like this, but a lot of them run themselves in a similar fashion.
I joined late. I was a junior in college when I went through recruitment. A lot of organizations cut you immediately if you aren't a freshman. This wasn't a problem. There were two organizations on my small campus that were interested in not only freshman.
I'm plus size. People don't usually equate plus size with sororities but still -there were two organizations on my campus that did not make me feel inadequate.
I'm a woman of color. Now this one was a little harder. Every organization had like one, maybe two or three or four women of color. But it was the most diverse organization I wanted.
And I got it.
But none of these things was the problem.
It seems that there are various other reasons why, other than my physical appearance, that I might have trouble in Greek life.
I struggled to make friends. Everyone does at first. But it seemed like because I wasn't Christian it was a little more difficult to connect with people on our core values.
I struggled to understand the rules and regulations. I'm not a bad person and I don't tend to promote my self-image as anything I'm not. But it seemed I was in trouble for something all the time.
Leadership positions aren't always cracked up to what they are. I took a small position within my organization. It was not organized and there was no training. I went to one glorified staff meeting a semester and tried to explain my goals for a position I didn't understand.
I went to parties and events, sure, but I was still not making friends.
And then I went on a study abroad.
On my study abroad program, I made friends with the first person I sat down next to on the plane. He told me he thought I was the worst when I first met him, but we ended up being really close. I made friends with a few incredible girls and started to feel that love, support, and unconditional kindness that I was expecting from my sorority. Sometimes, it just isn't a right fit for you.
I distinctly remember a day where I went out on a limb in my sorority. A girl had a Harry Potter planner. I desperately wanted to be her friend. More than anything. So I reached out, we made brunch plans, and next thing I know, I heard she dropped the sorority and I never heard from her again. She said her values didn't match up with the sorority's priorities and couldn't do it any longer.
So nearly a year later, after a study abroad program that changed my life, I dropped my organization.
Do I regret it?
Not really. I don't miss having to pretend to be someone else. I don't miss having to lie about how I was feeling.
It was our sorority bid day that I really realized I wasn't meant to be in the organization anymore. People in my face for not being cheery enough. People in my face saying how glad they were that I was back from study abroad but never talked to me. People, who somehow heard that I was planning on dropping, not minding their business and asking me point blank about it in front of the new members, were really starting to annoy me. So I emailed the president and set up a meeting. Nothing stays secret for long, so I told her the truth. I wanted out.
It wasn't the right fit for me and it may not be the right fit for you. Don't push yourself to be there if you don't want to be. Don't push yourself to be there if it's not the right fit.
I was having anxiety attacks every single chapter day, every single meeting day.
I took a leadership position on my study abroad. I was an assistant to the directors. I worked twice a week directly with the students and I never felt nervous or unclear on what to do. I had a support system behind me.
I have the unconditional love and support of my friends around me. You don't have to stay in your sorority if it's not where you want to be.
Sometimes, it's just not the right fit.