With Valentine’s day approaching some friends and I started talking about love, relationships, and our plans for the day, or lack thereof. I explained how I was ready to be in a more committed relationship. Casual dating was getting boring. I like the guys enough but not that much to spend and an exceptional amount of time with them nor did I feel a comfortability and a closeness to open up and build a bond. And people were like, “Okay, go find someone.”

As if it’s that easy. I am guilty of saying this to my single friends craving romance and intimacy: “Just put yourself out there.” Here’s the problem: not only does my next boyfriend need to fit my many standards but he also needs to be ready for something serious.

“It’s really hard when you’re ready for commitment and everyone else just wants to be casual.”

My friend said this at the end of our conversation and it’s been sitting with me since then. I can’t make a guy change his intentions, right? So, what do I do?

I asked one of my guy friends how I should maneuver my issue. He said, “Just keep shooting”. So simple but easier said than done.

Rejection is too large of a fear for most people. But he thinks the more shots I shoot, the more likely I am to score. I may take his advice but I tend to shoot my shots very selectively. I cannot be left looking silly.

I took my methods to Tinder. A dating app which is mainly used for casual hookups, though I have heard of people finding luck on there. The more times I messaged a guy first, the more responses I got whether they were good, creepy, or I got ghosted. At least I slightly knew where I stood.

So, I say if you want a Valentine’s Date or a new bae, take a chance! The more shots you take, the more shots you make.