We live in a society obsessed with sex. Advertisements use sex appeal to sell us products. As a society, we are surrounded by sex. So, why are people still not discussing something as simple as oral sex for educational purposes? It seems as if the sex education system is lacking when it comes to students learning about this topic. Even if the topic is uncomfortable to discuss, it's still apart of life, meaning people have to be educated on it.
People aren't talking about oral sex because the topic is extremely taboo and makes some people uncomfortable. This creates a huge issue because oral sex is not an uncommon act. More and more people are starting to engage with one another by performing oral sex. However, people think that oral sex is safer than traditional sex (genital meets genital) all because you can't get impregnated.
Am I the only one who realizes that this is absurd? engaging in oral sex can still lead to the contraction of sexually transmitted diseases. Sex education needs to change. In my opinion, abstinence can no longer be the main sexual practice taught in schools. Young people are going to have sex or do sexual acts and without proper education, there can be dangerous consequences.
Brighton Victoria (@britonvictoria), a licensed life coach. Her life coaching focuses mainly on counseling others who have relationship trauma, as well as others who seek advice and counseling for other subjects related to relationships such as sex, She aspires to help others by counseling and giving relationship advice. She has a large following on social media and her YouTube Channel. She dedicates her work to advising others and helping her clients fix issues that pertain to sex, relationships, mental health. etc. She is an outspoken feminist, who is out to make the world a better place.
She said, "I think most people are more conservative when it comes to their sex lives and don't like discussing nitty-gritty details, especially something in regards to oral sex, because oral sex is considered to be a bigger deal than 'regular sex' since the person performing is literally up close and personal with another person's genitalia."Oral sex is sex and people are constantly engaging in it. If children are going to be taught about sex then they should know all of it. I asked Brighton if she believes that teens would benefit more from our sex education system if oral sex was actually discussed.
She said, "I think that they'd benefit more from the system if all aspects of sex were discussed realistically, from regular sex to oral sex, to contraceptives. Because teaching teens abstinence is absolutely ludicrous, and that's why we have so many teen pregnancies or STDs because no one is educated on the reality of being sexually active."
Students are not benefiting from being taught abstinence and abstinence-only. The practice of abstinence will not be a reality for most young people. It can be awkward to talk about sex with teens, but they will have sex. The only way to prevent something like pregnancy or STDs are to actually discuss sex, as well as oral sex. People need to be educated about sex. Being educated should be the top standard in sex education, not abstinence. Only few will practice abstinence. The majority of people will have sex and it will benefit them to actually understand sex, all that goes into sex, what can happen from sex, and how the human body works.
Not only is oral sex not talked about, but the education system also excludes the LGBTQ community. It seems as if the reproductive side of hetero sex is only taught. Brighton stated that the main reason all other aspects of sex is left out is that hetero penetrative sex is what causes pregnancy.
"I think all aspects of sex should be discussed, not just the reproductive side. Not to mention, this excludes the LGBTQ community, since only hetero sex is taught because that's what causes pregnancy. Gay sex should be discussed as well as oral sex, alongside an explanation that the majority of the time people have sex is not for making a baby, but for pleasure," she said.
I believe that the sex education system needs to be fixed, and it needs to be fixed now. I find it unacceptable that abstinence is still the main priority when teaching about sex. Yes, it should be discussed but the truth is, you cannot stop people from having sex. So instead of teaching them only abstinence, all the aspect of sex should be discussed. Teaching everything is the only way to really help teens stay safe.
I would also like to touch on how Brighton states that people are also having sex for the sole purpose of pleasure. There is nothing wrong with sex, or having sex for pleasure. It's natural. It seems as if, no matter how open our society is becoming, the topic of sex, especially oral sex is still taboo.
A child should be able to confide with their parent if they feel awkward during puberty, or if they are not understanding their body. They should be able to talk to their parent, and their parent should be open about the situation. It seems like parents and educators believe that not teaching sex is protecting the child because not teaching sex is not "promoting" sex. However, it is doing a disservice. Everyone needs to know about their bodies. Like we discussed, hetero sex is commonly taught, but oral sex and sex for the LGBTQ are left out. This is because hetero sex is seen as the norm, for it's how you make it baby, and it's what most people talk about when the topic of abstinence is brought up. This could be due to the fact that parents/ educators may feel uncomfortable discussing anything else apart from basic sex education with their child/ students. However, hetero sex is not the norm. Why can't all forms of sex be the norm?
Teaching about sex should be more than teaching abstinence. People are out there having oral sex. They need to know that contraceptives are available for oral sex. People who are apart of the LGBTQ community out there engaging in different types of sex. They deserve to know about contraceptives too. All of the aspects of sex need to be discussed, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Learning or teaching about sex should not be shameful. It should not be awkward. Sex is what makes the world go round. People should be educated and educated well on the topic for the sake of their health.