I’ve noticed a trend pop up in the relationships my friends and I have had over the past year or so. We go through phrases of being technically single, yet getting various aspects of relationships from a handful of different people.
Perhaps I do this because I flip from wanting a relationship to fearing the idea of commitment ten times in thirty seconds. Or maybe because all the idiots I know are only good for one thing, whatever that may be.
Someone to go clubbing with till 5am? I have someone for that.
Someone to have occasional heart to hearts with? Check.
Someone to send flirty texts and Snapchats to? Got a couple actually.
Someone to go see that new movie with? Yup.
The catch is, they’re all completely different people. If I could combine all these guys into one awesome person, I would, well, I most likely would. There’s pros and cons to this idea of breaking apart what you're looking for out of multiple people.
One of the best parts about segmenting your relationships is that there are less problems, usually. Getting only a certain type of attention from someone and not asking for anything more doesn't involve so much drama. Especially when you know they’re not looking for anything serious. You’re both on the same page about how this relationship going nowhere else.
On the other hand, a big flaw in this idea is that these relationships never lead to anything serious, usually. It’s pretty much like shooting yourself in the foot. Each time I realize I am doing this, I think I'm benefiting greatly, but then after a while it hits me that I might be blocking myself off from something serious with one of these guys, or some other guy out there.
Instead of cutting off this guy who wasn't looking for anything serious, but who I really liked, I decided to keep him as the guy who would take me out to the best bars in the city. We had a great time, and that’s all the relationship was. When it stopped, I wasn't heartbroken like I would have been if I had cut him off entirely when I realized commitment just isn't in his DNA.
Another good thing about doing this, is that a lot of times you can remain friends with these guys once your segmented relationship ends. Or if you see him out with some girl 5 months from now, it won't be painful or awkward, well it shouldn't be.
I’d say in most cases there are both pros and cons to segmenting relationships. If you aren't sure if the person you are keeping around is actually worth keeping around, figure out what the cons are and if they outweigh the pros. Don't stress, cause he's not your boyfriend. So just have some fun.
You do you.