A Romantic Valentine's Day With Me And Myself

I'm sure we're all aware that February 14th wasn't just a Tuesday.
That morning, I woke up and I was just like..

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The sun is shining!! The tank is clean!! I got hit by a bike yesterday!!

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Yeah, I was walking to class, and when I turned a corner, boom.
My walking path intersected with this dude's riding path (upon which he was traveling on wheels, might I remind you),and it was just this whole mess of startled mumbles.

Omg I am so sorry are you okay no I'm okay, are you okay yeah I'm fine that was totally my fault, no don't worry about it yeah no problem.

Don't worry though, we both miraculously came out of it unscathed. He only hit my arm. I only hit his handle. It was all good. We shared the fault. The biker and I. I had been texting and walking. He apparently had forgotten that people existed. When the initial collision occurred though, we both reacted like the ninjas I'm sure we both are inside.

He bobbed, I weaved.
He swerved. We both stopped, then the "omg are you okay" word vomits spewed from both of us.

Yada yada yada. Anyway, after that whole fiasco, I continued walking on my previous path that had just been so abruptly collided with, and I caught myself thinking.

I thought to myself, wow. That could have been so cute, because tomorrow’s Valentine’s Day, and if my life was a RomCom, I think I’d want my future husband to hit me with his bike the day before Valentine’s Day.

But nah. It wasn’t him.
He was polite though, great guy.
I guess the only lesson is don’t text and walk, kids. And maybe just don't ride bikes to class.

I’m not gonna lie, I was zero percent surprised by the amount of people I saw wearing black on Valentine's Day as I was walking to class. Admittedly, I was one of them, but like I wore a pink scarf too. So yeah, I don't know where I'd fall this year on the "salty single person on Valentine's Day" scale.

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I’m sure I’m not the only one who hasn’t really ever had a “good” Valentine’s Day.

Come to think about it though, what is it that makes a Valentine's Day really constitute as “good” these days, anyway?

Flowers?
I’ll kill them. I don't mean that in a malicious way. I'm just being brutally honest with myself here. I simply cannot provide the love that a beautiful bouquet deserves right now. I cannot give it what it needs.
My roommate left a vase out in the kitchen for her boyfriend to notice.
Very subtle.

Chocolates?
I mean yeah, chocolate would definitely sway my mood to perceive this day as ranking higher on the "good" scale than a day without chocolate would.
I have a qualm about that though. (I love that word - qualm).
Why is this emphasis on chocolate giving and receiving limited to one day of the year?

Plans?
eh. I decided no romance plans this year. Because let’s be real here, even if I did have a ~special someone~ to make typical Valentine’s Day plans with, I’d likely get too wrapped up in the planning, and end up feeling irrationally disappointed because of some unreasonably high expectation that's been set in my head.
(Not to say that the expectation isn't set on-purposely high. It definitely is, subconsciously [and I guess now consciously?], because admittedly, I am a temporarily cold heart-ed 21 year old who doesn't have the emotional stamina to deal with the idea of someone existing who could hypothetically reach [or God forbid exceed] those expectations).

(I'm learning to accept all this about myself, and... grow, and whatnot).

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Anyway,

Valentine's day with me was nice.
For starters, I woke up proud of myself. I didn’t even need an alarm clock. My eyes just OPENED.
Which was a pretty big deal, for me.

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When I rolled over and checked my phone, the date under the time on the screen reminded me that it was Valentine’s Day, and I was like hmph, there are two ways for me to react to this.

First option:
I could mentally yarf, and sneer with low key resentment because I don’t have a boyfriend.

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Second option:
I could mentally high five myself, and begin planning a great day away from the world with me.

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Since Valentine's Day is about ~love~ and stuff, I don’t see why I’ve got to assume that the love is supposed to be directed toward some other human and therefore something to sneer at right now. This year, why can’t I make it a day about self love and mindfulness instead?

I decided to take the second option. I got up (not even feeling that tired? Wtf is happening?) and made myself some ambrosia, aka coffee.
(Fun fact: Ambrosia is the word for “immortality,” and it’s the mythical food of Greek gods. I thought to myself as I put extra chocolate in my coffee, I am a goddess today, and goddesses do what they want, especially on Valentine's day, even though they obviously should do what they want every other day of the year too).

I watched the news, knit a square, went to class relatively early. Weird. Very weird. Would definitely recommend though.

Anyway, Happy late Valentine's Day, fellow single people. I hope you enjoyed your day with yourselves.