Mentally Preparing Myself to Return 'Home' to the U.S.

Mentally Preparing Myself To Return 'Home' To The U.S.

As my time abroad comes to an end, I feel so at-home I don't understand why I have to leave.

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The time has come where I have to start mentally preparing myself to pack my things and head back home to the U.S.

I have just under one month left in Morocco and I am already having nightmares that I am in America and not here. The past three months have been a huge challenge, but I wouldn't change a thing. It's so hard because everyone is so excited for me to come home but I feel like I am home, and I don't understand why I have to leave.

During my time here, I have really learned a lot about myself. I have spread myself too thin and tried to do more than I could handle. I have definitely become a jack of all trades and master of none. This stress to be good at so many things has kept my emotions all over the place. I have made myself physically sick and missed so many days of classes which only makes me more stressed.

This is nothing new to me as I am always spreading myself too thin but I never realized how great this cost is. I have missed out on so many experiences and failed to do so many things I wanted to because I am either worrying about all the assignments I have or doing all of the assignments.

This has taught me a huge lesson though. I learned that my American ideas of working all the time to be the best do not line up with the Moroccan ideas of simply enjoying life.

I thought I was starting to hate Morocco and it wasn't for me. I was ready to come home. I was sick of being in my room studying all the time. But it wasn't Morocco that didn't fit who I am, it was this idea of success at the cost of my personal well-being. I forgot what it was like to cook with my family, read a book on the beach, play golf, and just relax.

The problem was, I told myself I can't do these things because I am not in America and it is too hard. But I went to the beach for a long weekend which I am calling my "spring break" and despite the awful weather and food poisoning, it was nice to take a break.

I haven't been able to go to the beach and enjoy a spring break in years. I decided to try to make some American dishes and even though it took more planning, it was so worth it to eat something that tasted like home. This is the thing, the only things that confine us are our thoughts. If we think we can't do something, then we will surely fail.

Now, I have to start thinking about my future and boy is it coming at me quick. I am hoping to graduate in December 2020. This is a nice thought until I realize I will be taking four classes in six weeks starting 24 hours after I return to the US.

I will then have three more full semesters left at USC before I am done. This is so exciting except I lay awake at 2 in the morning thinking where I will intern next summer because I have to intern in the city that I want to work in.

I also started thinking, am I going to be a good accountant? Do I even understand accounting? What if I fail my 400 level classes and have to choose a new major? These fears of my future eat away at me and ruin my present.

So, now I challenge myself to do the things I wanted to do during my four months in the next four weeks. I hope to take all the pictures and videos I wanted. I hope to soak up every last second with my professors. I want to spend as many moments with my boyfriend before we are an ocean apart again.

I want to make as many memories with my friends and host family as I possibly can before leaving them. Life is so short and I just wish I could stop worrying about my resume and focus more on my life.

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When You Make A Girl An Aunt, You Change Her World In All The Best Ways

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her the happiest girl in the world.

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My brother and his wife recently blessed our family with the sweetest bundle of joy on planet earth. OK, I may be a little bias but I believe it to be completely true. I have never been baby crazy, but this sweet-cheeked angel is the only exception. I am at an age where I do not want children yet, but being able to love on my nephew like he is my own is so satisfying.

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her a very protective person.

From making sure the car seat is strapped in properly before every trip, to watching baby boy breathe while he sleeps, you'll never meet someone, besides mommy and daddy of course, who is more concerned with the safety of that little person than me.

When you make a girl an aunt, you give her a miniature best friend.

There is something about an aunt that is so fun. An aunt is a person you go to when you think you're in trouble or when you want something mom and dad said you couldn't have. An aunt is someone who takes you to get ice cream and play in the park to cool down after having a temper tantrum. I can't wait to be the one he runs to.

When you make a girl an aunt, she gets to skip on the difficulty of disciplining.

Being an aunt means you get to be fun. Not to say I wouldn't correct my nephew if he were behaving poorly, but for the most part, I get to giggle and play and leave the hard stuff for my brother.

When you make a girl an aunt, you give her the best listening ears.

As of right now I only listen to the sweet coos and hungry cries but I am fully prepared to listen to all the problems in his life in the future.

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her the best advice giver.

By the time my nephew needs advice, hopefully, I will have all of my life lessons perfected into relatable stories.

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her a number-one fan

Anything you do in life sweet boy, I will be cheering you on. I already know you are going to do great things.

When you make a girl an aunt, she learns what true love is.

The love I have for my nephew is so pure. Its the love that is just there. I don't have to choose to show love every day, I don't have to forgive, I don't have to worry if it is reciprocated, it is just there.

When you make a girl an aunt, you make her the happiest person in the world.

I cannot wait to watch my precious nephew grow into the amazing person that I know he is going to be.

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4 Things I Wish High School Me Knew

Every day has a purpose.

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People don't give high school enough credit for having the ability to shape your life. It can build you or it can break you and often times there is no in between. As I enter into my senior year of college I have reflected a lot on my college career and how it really has been the best years of my life up to this point, but I know that without a doubt my life would have been so different in I would have known these things as a high schooler.

1. Your life is valuable

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. - Ephesians 2:4-7

2. You aren't defined by your singleness. 

Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. - Song of Solomon 2:7

4. You aren't going to fit in

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. - Romans 12:2

4. Your clothes aren't going to fit forever, don't spend all of your money on them 

Then he said to them, "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions." - Luke 12:15

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