I Hate Research.
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frustrations of looking up stuff to write

It sounds easy, but then you think about the internet, suddenly you realized it's not.

frustrations of looking up stuff to write

Every time I think of an article, I always have an idea that I need to find more information on. But then I would think of the idea immediately on the day my article is due and, then, I have little time to do research. Even I do decide to research, I will type up a term and will spend more hours finding the thing I need but little hours actually writing my article. Researching or, looking things up, is, indeed, a tiring task. Type a term, and pray that an article talks about this exact term. And when it doesn't, you have to continue to keep learning. Eventually, you might have to make a new topic altogether.

This frustration is apparent in all of my research paper project, especially in my project for my seminar in International Relations and Comparative Politics.

On June, I thought of a research topic: the Right to Work in Iraq's constitution and how it correlates to neo-liberalism. When I emailed my professor about my topic, he said that it was a blessing that I have thought about it so early. But, then, he told me something that I have always dreaded to hear in my academic career, or really, my whole life.

"You should be more clear."

I hated this sentence. It tells me that I am not understood. And to be frank, I have thought of this topic on my bed in the middle of watching dumb YouTubers doing dumb YouTuber things. His reaction tells me that I need to research and afterward explain. The problem is, though, I have nothing to turn, too. I type "right to work" and nothing shows up except War in Iraq. I type "Iraq" and "Neo-Liberalism," and I got nothing that I searched for.

Again, I have to abandon yet another topic. And trust me, I have a million topics before I chose Iraq and Neo-Liberalism. Now, I have to find a million more. "Korean Nationalism and Diplomacy in the Peninsula," "American Exceptionalism and the Election of Donald Trump," "British Imperial Nostalgia and Brexit:" These are my topics, and I am not sure if my professor will approve of them. I am scared that he will tell me that I am unclear again. And, with an undiagnosed chronic illness where brain fog and loss of concentration are major symptoms, I do not want to hear the word "unclear " again.

So, now, with my three topics, I pray that something will turn up when I go to JSTOR. And if not, then, I have to splurge on reading scholarly articles til I find something. I wish researching is just as simple as looking things up. But it is a skill for a reason. You see that I have some fears and anxiety before researching. With these two factors so strong, I'm not even sure if I will even research at all. And if I do, then, I won't have time to write for my research paper.

Researching is hard, and I envy people who can do it easily.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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