October means various things for different people. For some it might mean the first true glimpse of fall weather, apple and pumpkin picking, Halloween and much more. Yes I do love fall — sometimes even a little too much, I will admit. When October rolls around these things are put on the back burner for a little bit for me. To me, October is a little bittersweet and a reminder of the most important and influential person in my life. As some of you may know October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, so I thought that this would be an appropriate time to share what October means to me. During this month memories come flooding back to me about spending time with my nana — grandma. My nana had breast cancer when I was younger, and even through it all she was my everything. In May of the year 2010, my nana lost her battle to breast cancer. Click here to read how losing my nana had an impact on my life.

While sitting here writing this article, I found myself zoning out at a blank screen with no words typed. I knew what I wanted to say but was not really sure how to put in into words. I think that this can be seen as a parallel to the fact that I will never truly understand what my nana was going through. My nana was someone who I have always looked up to and I think this has to do with the fact that she was so strong no matter what was going on her in life. To this day she is someone who I look up to, not only for guidance but in how to live my life. The times that I miss her the most are when something good happens in my life or when I need some advice on something. I know that if I ever need her all I need to do is shut my eyes and just talk to her, but this doesn't take away the fact that I wish that she was actually here. Sometimes I can't help but think of how different things would be if only she were still here. My brother Shane recently got married over the past month and this is something that I wish she could've been at. My nana knew my brother's wife and I know that she would've loved to have been there to see the wedding finally happen. While at the wedding me and Shane danced to Drops of Jupiter. This song holds special meaning to me.

"Drops of Jupiter" is a song written by the band Train. The lead singer of the group, Pat Monahan, was going through a rough time while on tour. Pat's mother was dying of lung cancer, he could not be with her, and could only contact her through payphones every so often. This song reminds me of my nana and is something that I listen to when I miss her more than often. Monahan said, "Loss of the most important person in my life was heavy on my mind, and the thought of 'what if no one ever really leaves? What if she's here but different?' The idea was, she's back here in the atmosphere."

So this article is for the ones we've lost to not only breast cancer but to any cancer. This year this is the month to remember the good memories that we've had with our loved ones that we've lost along the way. This month I challenge you to wear the pink in some sort of way at least once this month.