Before you start reading, let me give you the "background" as to why I am writing on a topic that seems to cause tension between individuals. On my wedding finger I wear two rings that stand as a symbol of me saving myself, or not having sex before I get married. Because I wear them 24/7, very rarely taking them off [except maybe when I am cooking], people question what throngs mean. For a while I answered with a "typical" response like: "they act as a constant reminder that I am saving myself for marriage." After giving this a lot of thought, I have come to the conclusion...
I am not saving myself for marriage. I'm saving sex for marriage.
Before you start to think of me any different, let me be clear.... I do not know of any follower of Christ that truly believes they can save themselves.
I want to point out that the "save" in "saving sex" is not the same "save" as in "saving the pizza for later." While I am waiting to have sex, when I say I'm saving it, I do not mean that I am "putting it off." I am simply making a conscious decision that is redeeming it. Putting it off, or refusing it, would mean that I would be treating it like it isn't sacred [which it is].
I am not saying sex is not the gift of one's self, because it is. I am however saying that for those of us who have decided to wait until we are married-- the gift we are giving is often misunderstood. The real gift to offer is partnership. It's the constant state of being there. It is the permanence, the merging of two lives and families together as one.
Sex is part of it, but it isn't it.
The view that saving sex for marriage protects people physically, emotionally, and spiritually neglects an important truth: Saving sex protects it.
In the culture we live in, sex is more about getting than it is about giving. The world will say that the pleasure part of it is important. And although I do agree, I believe al parts of it are important. Society, or the world, likes to tell those of us who are waiting that we are wrong because "everyone is doing it." This is because in our culture today "majority determines what is right and wrong."
Sex isn't "not sacred" because 90% of men and women don't reserve it for the unity of marriage. Sex is no longer sacred when you treat it like it is not. This is why you would say that those of us who wait until we are married to have sex are saving it and redeeming it, because we are choosing to treat it as sacred-- an action reserved for marriage. And it is.
So I am not saving myself.
But I am saving sex....saving sex for marriage, that is.
