Pushing Cars and Pushing Problems

Pushing Cars and Pushing Problems

Sometimes we just get stuck in ruts and other times on the side of the road.
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I can still remember the Bush song playing on my radio and my battery gauge began floating violently as my headlights dimmed against the dark road.

The car of question was a 1996 Camaro Rally Sport that had only brought me turmoil the entire time I had owned it. So there I was 16-years old on the road at night with no phone and just my Mom in her pajamas. Of course we hadn't intended to take a little jaunt road trip. Originally we had just planned to get gas and then drive five minutes North to the McDonald's to get a sweet tea...half-cut.

Instead, we found ourselves on the side of the road with a car that was in a fit of rage and was slowly dying by the second. We managed to cut through a neighborhood in hopes of making it to my Grandpa's house. As we entered his subdivision the reality kicked in. My car wasn't going to make it.

"We're gonna have to push the rest of the way." My Mom spoke up.

And me, 16-years old, stuck my foot out the car door like Fred Flintstone. On a November night I realized I was going to have to actually push this car. Can you imagine how my Mother and I looked pushing a sports car through a neighborhood? Two bohemian women, me in a fringed leather jacket and a lace top. My Mom in pajamas and an Annie Lennox haircut.

Life is very unexpected. Sometimes in a way that is almost magical. Prior to the moment of my car losing control, my day had been normal. But a sudden turn of events and I can still recall that November night now six years later. Some days we feel like we are stuck in a rut, going through the motions. Other days we feel as if we are actually in our very own sitcom. And both of those are 100% completely, utterly normal.

Years later I would eventually sell that demon of a Camaro and upgrade to a more mature, reliable car. But sometimes I drive down that road at night and I can almost see myself, thinking I was so invincible trying to push that car. The fearlessness, the independence it took. And the anger I felt as I watched the tow truck try to tow my beauty away from me. Often, I forget what it was like to think that I was "fearless." How easy it is to forget those days of being so independent that I didn't even need a man.

In my younger days, dealing with the car's mood was almost a hobby. Now I find myself dealing with larger things on the scale. Sometimes I look back at those simpler times and I think 16-year old me calls out to me in a melodramatic way. What would 16-year old me think off 22-year old me? Would she think I'm a sell out for getting a big girl job? Would she roast me because I drive a Ford? Or maybe she would look at me with Slavic eyes and see me as an inspiration?

I'd like to think that I am the girl that I should have been, caught up in the most unexpected time of her life, and taking matters into her own hands. Like the girl that pushed her car through a neighborhood all by herself.



Cover Image Credit: Kaique Rocha

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To The Nursing Major During The Hardest Week Of The Year

I know that no grade can possibly prove what kind of nurse you will be. I know that no assignment will showcase your compassion. I know that no amount of bad days will ever take away the empathy inside of you that makes you an exceptional nurse.

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To the Nursing Major During Finals Week,

I know you're tired, I know you're stressed, and I know you feel like you can't go on. I know that no part of this seems fair, and I know you are by far the biggest critic of yourself. I know that you've thought about giving up. I know that you feel alone. I know that you wonder why in the world you chose one of the hardest college majors, especially on the days it leaves you feeling empty and broken.

But, I also know that you love nursing school. I know your eyes light up when you're with patients, and I know your heart races when you think of graduation. I know that you love the people that you're in school with, like truly, we're-all-in-this-together, family type of love. I know that you look at the older nurses with admiration, just hoping and praying that you will remain that calm and composed one day. I know that every time someone asks what your college major is that you beam with pride as you tell them it's nursing, and I know that your heart skips a beat knowing that you are making a difference.

I know that no grade can possibly prove what kind of nurse you will be. I know that no assignment will showcase your compassion. I know that a failed class doesn't mean you aren't meant to do this. I know that a 'C' on a test that you studied so. dang. hard. for does not mean that you are not intelligent. I know that no amount of bad days will ever take away the empathy inside of you that makes you an exceptional nurse.

I know that nursing school isn't fair. I know you wish it was easier. I know that some days you can't remember why it's worth it. I know you want to go out and have fun. I know that staying up until 1:00 A.M. doing paperwork, only to have to be up and at clinicals before the sun rises is not fair. I know that studying this much only to be failing the class is hard. I know you wish your friends and family understood. I know that this is difficult.

Nursing school isn't glamorous, with the white lab coat and stethoscope. Nursing school is crying, randomly and a lot. Nursing school is exhaustion. Nursing school is drinking so much coffee that you lose track. Nursing school is being so stressed that you can't eat. Nursing school is four cumulative finals jam-packed into one week that is enough to make you go insane.

But, nursing school is worth it. I know that when these assignments are turned in and finals are over, that you will find the motivation to keep going. I know that one good day of making a difference in a patient's life is worth a hundred bad days of nursing school.

Keep hanging in there, nursing majors. It'll all be worth it— this I know, for sure.

So, if you have a nursing major in your life, hug them and tell them that you're proud of them. Nursing school is tough, nursing school is scary, and nursing school is overwhelming; but a simple 'thank-you' from someone we love is all we need to keep going.

Sincerely,

A third-year nursing student who knows

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From The Girl Who Is Tired Of Being An 'Almost'

No one wants to be a second choice, let alone no choice at all.

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It's no secret that the dating scene in 2019 is hard, romance is basically dead. You can order up a partner faster than a pizza from dominos. Men rarely approach woman anymore, and if they do it seems to only be for one night stands, not for the genuine interest of getting to know someone.

Like most other singles, I'm out of ideas and don't know how to land a stable relationship in this age of false intentions and no commitment.

I've been told about every line in the book on why it doesn't happen because of me like for example; I want too much or am too "serious," or my favorite is that I expect things too soon, but all I actually want is a guy who is honest, loyal and devoted to me. Is that really too much to ask? Seriously?

I've had endless "almost" boyfriends, I've almost become what they wanted. I almost had what I thought I really wanted at the time. However, each failed fling was just one more added instance where I became an "almost" or the "stepping stone girl" aka the girl guys were with before they found their "person" and for the longest time, I didn't care.

I just struck it down as male immaturity that would end in a year, a couple at most, but unfortunately, I think I was wrong and do not see it changing any time soon.

At almost 21 years old and still a little single pringle, I for one am just tired of it all. I'm tired of being peoples almost. I'm tired of being lead on or drop me like an old news article by the end of the week. It's a never-ending cycle.

If your intentions are to just use a girl, DON'T. Stop getting our hopes up and just leave her alone.

And don't get me wrong, I'm not letting my relationship status define my worth or the quality of the life I'm living. Thus far I've done everything on my own and I know I can achieve the goals I have set for my life alone.

If a guy wants to pursue me, and I mean truly pursue me, then great if not I'll just continue to thrive on my own. I've never been the girl who needed a man. I definitely want one, but don't get me wrong I will not be devasted without one.

But in all honesty, why me? Why do guys only see me as an almost? Why am I not worthy enough to be something more than that to someone? Why do they lead me on just to drop me in a few weeks like it was nothing and then in a couple of weeks end up getting serious with someone else? I'm just truly baffled.

I just feel like the odd one out. I would love nothing more than to have a partner, share all life's moments with. Someone who will be there with me through it all and kiss, hug, and love me. Even something as simple as walking downtown holding hands with someone would be a dream to me.

Life is short, I want young love. I want all that a relationship entails, the good and the bad. It's just frustrating being the only single one in your group, listening to everyone's relationships and having nothing to contribute because what you experience isn't even real.

I don't believe in "almost" you either want to be with someone or you don't. It's black and white and maybe I just don't understand but if you did want to be with someone why not truly give it a chance?

But until people figure their stuff out, I will gladly sit back, be single and wait until someone is truly ready and makes it worth trying because I will not be someones "almost" again. I'm not just a little stop on the way, I am the destination.

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