College Project

During my winter quarter, I took an Abnormal Psychology class where we had to make art project based on one of the disorders we were going to learn in class.

I thought why not share my project?


I wake and I feel nothing,

I tug my brush through my hair,

The pulling of the knots don't phase me.

I get dressed without a care in the world.

I wait outside; the cold sharp winds don't phase me one bit.

I get on the bus, listening to the hum of the engine

As it stops and goes.

I get downtown listening for the ring of the Link

Over the busy cars.

I get to campus and it's the same every week.

Notebooks, notes, pencil, lecture, pack up, repeat.

I eat my lunch still feeling empty.

I do some reading for classes, listening to the small talk.

Time for the next class and the routine continues.

Catch the Link, catch the bus,

Cross the street in the darkness of 6pm.

I come inside and say, "class was fine",

I change onto pjs, get some food, watch some Netflix.

As I lay in bed, I feel nothing.

The things that used to enjoy don't like they used to.

I just feel nothing no matter what I try.


Why did things end?

Was it because of me?

Or was it my illness?

Do you think I always wanted to lay around?

Did you ever think that maybe there could be more going on?

I still feel like it's all my fault.

And now I'm alone.

Its just me and my illness.

Finally, Peace

Sometimes I just want to disappear.

Walk into the cold salty ocean.

But not stopping once the water hits my knees.

Sometimes I just want to keep going.

Going until it completely covers me.

Feeling the cold knives hitting me everywhere,

So maybe I'll actually feel something.

I just want to disappear and become part of the waves.

I want to be apart of the rolling waves

That can cause destruction, but also joy.

I would bring joy to the kids jumping and playing

In my ice-cold salty water.

I would be apart of the beauty that is part of the ocean.

If only I could disappear into the ocean.

Then I'll be a part of something beautiful.

Be a part of something meaningful.

Instead I feel like a walking ghost.

That's just walking along the sandy beaches of life,

But leaving no footprints in the sand

The Truth

When people hear the word depression, they look at you with pity. But what these people don't understand is how it affects a person. You go through days where all you want to do is sleep and stay in bed, but when people hear that they think you are being lazy. But that's depression. People ask you to come do activities you did all the time, but now you make excuses because deep down it doesn't bring joy anymore. But that's depression. People say you're not acting yourself, just having a bad day and you agree, but really you have been feeling this way for weeks. That's depression. When you finally reach out for help and people ask why it took so long and you say, "because I just now realized" and they reply "How did you not know you had it? "But that's depression. People ask if you're on medication and if your answer is right, they won't judge, but answer wrong they will; but honestly it isn't any of their business how I take care of myself.When you tell people, you smoke pot not to be "cool" but because is actually helps on those really low days, and yes that is a thing. They say "you are using depression as an excuse" they must not know the research behind it and the amount of other depressed people it helps. People begin to question why you started acting the same way as "before". Its because I stopped taking my meds…again. But that is just a part of depression. When people ask, "how do you live with depression?" I reply "day by day, hour by hour because depression comes and goes, some days are better than others, and even when you're down and others don't seem to help, you just keep going. Because that is depression."

Burning Life

When I first started out, I was strong and tall.

Stood up straight with my wax all around.

But then one day someone lit me,

And they let me burn all day.

Giving off that scent that makes them think of home,

Gives them that comfort.

As I burn, I'm no longer strong and tall

I have gotten shorter and weaker,

I start to curve one way because

My strength is not gone.

I am burnt out now

The flickering of my light is gone,

Because there is nothing left of me.

But will they notice?

Will the know they have burnt me out?

Probably not, they won't know until that happy scent goes.

And they will come back and realize,

I am not that strong and tall anymore,

They used me all up,

And now I am gone.

Unexpected Winter Day

Winter snow falling

One cold February day

Light white flakes falling.

Everyone has joy

A new winter wonderland

For new adventures.

But then there is me

Hates the cold, wet falling snow

It brings no joy.

Waking the next day

Everything covered in white

It brought a cold calm.

As the day when on

Watching the snow fall all calm

My mind has a change.

Feeling that sharp wind

Little knives hitting my face

The change continues.

Looking up gives peace

Arms open catching snowflakes

On my warm wet tongue.

As the sky changes

Into winter night calm sky

I start to feel joy.

All from this small thing

It brings a sense of wonder

And a change of heart.

The Buzz Therapy

I go onto Pinterest looking for just the right one.

Once I do, I think where the best place will be.

I walk into the shop hearing that buzz,

Feeling excited like going on a roller-coaster.

I get called back, and he cleans my skin,

Then puts on the blue outline.

I lay on the table knowing what is coming I hear that buzz,

And then the pain hits. Some places hurt more than others.

Going though this pain I think,

I could be doing worse things to my body.

Cutting, not eating, mot sleeping or sleeping too much.

I hear the buzz and by now I know which buzz

Will cause more or less pain.

It numbs the area and the mental pain for just a bit.

Soon the buzzing stops and now I have a reminder of

My illness but being strong on my ribs.

A cancer memorial for many on my arm,

To remember them.

A feather on my ankle for my sister.

Three birds behind my ear for my siblings,

Who keep me going.

A dandelion to remember things come and go

But keep on wishing for more.

A moon and heart on my shoulder for the love

Of the clear night sky with the bright moon.

They are all reminders to keep going and push though.

Can you figure out which disorder these poems are showing?

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Health and Wellness

This Survey Shows How Quarantine And Drinking Relate, And I Can't Say I'm Surprised

"5 o'clock somewhere" is more of a guideline now than ever.

As it stands, and my friends and I are finally 21. We're extremely excited to be able to go out to bars and "get lit" as the kids say, but due to the pandemic, all of our plans have been put on hold. We'd rather wait and go when it's safe than risk spreading the infection and hurting our loved ones. So, we've all been quarantining apart, getting on the occasional wine zoom call. This made me wonder if anyone else our age were doing the same thing.

Then, I discovered this survey: We Surveyed Millennials And Gen Z About Their Quarantine Drinking Habits — Cheers. Here are 3 things that I discovered through the survey results.

Keep Reading... Show less

5 Easy Summer Mocktail Recipes You Can Make With Items You Probably Already Have On-Hand

Keep these drinks in mind next time you're visiting your local farmer's market — you might want to grab some extra mint and limes.

With Summer 2020 in full swing comes the addition of many fresh fruits and vegetables to brighten up your dinner plate, but also your glass! Farmers markets are my personal favorite place to look for produce that is in season to make fun mocktails with.

Keep Reading... Show less

5 Ways To Celebrate The 4th of July — Without Fireworks Or Social Gatherings

We created a list of things to do since social distancing may create a dent in our typical, planned traditions.

With the Fourth of July on Saturday, the usual tradition of popping fireworks, grilling out, and being surrounded by family has been modified due to the pandemic. Whether you're a loner or surrounded by family, there will most likely be some changes to your celebrations.

For weeks on social media, people across the country have been complaining that they have been subjected to fireworks going off at all times of the night into the early morning. This has sparked concern and questions about why this is happening and how are people even obtaining the fireworks.

Keep Reading... Show less

Carb And Cheese Lovers, Unite — These Are The Best Mac And Cheese Recipes On The Internet

Whether you need to get through the current pandemic or want to spice up your Fourth of July celebrations, these mac and cheese recipes will do just that.

My favorite food is mac and cheese, and it always has been. All it requires is noodles and cheese — it's so simple to make. Although it's my favorite, it can also get kind of mundane because it's such a simple recipe. This, of course, has led to many people all over the world experimenting with the American staple.

With our lives currently being turned upside down due to the pandemic, a lot of people are seeking comfort. These are scary times, and in order to make it day-to-day, we need to have our favorite foods as a standby. These recipes can also be used during your celebration of the Fourth of July.

Keep Reading... Show less

Odyssey Webinar: Writing Reviews About Your Favorite Products

See you on Wednesday, July 8 at 4:00 p.m. EST.

On July 8, our Lifestyle editor is hosting a video webinar focused on writing reviews about your favorite brands and products –– and you're invited! You must have an Odyssey account to attend.

Keep Reading... Show less

Odyssey Templates: Review A Product You Love

Rave about that product here as much as you have been to your friends.

There are few things less satisfying than giving someone a product recommendation only to find out they actually took the recommendation and love it just as much as you told them they would. There exists a great sense of gratification in knowing someone valued your opinion enough to go out and make a purchase based on it.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

17 Things To Make You Feel GOOD This Week

Because some purchases are just necessary.

Y'all, we're struggling. You don't even have to tell me, I know. What a mess we're all in, right? This year is not going how we planned and the world has turned into one giant struggle bus. I guess you could be super philosophical about everything happening for a reason, but sometimes life is just hard.

There are plenty of ways to bring yourself out of whatever rut you're in. You could go for a run, have a snack, or read a book. Or, if you're really looking for an adrenaline rush, go shopping. This is obviously not going to solve the world's problems with one swift click of the "checkout" button, but hey, it may just give you the little boost you need today.

Keep Reading... Show less

- Blissfully unaware that butt-care beyond squats was even something I should be considering in my self-care routine, I tried one of Bawdy Beauty's butt masks for the first time a month ago.

- I've never really given my butt a second though till I took a look at improvements that could be made with the mask — if one of the hydrating, firming, detoxifying, or brightening masks in the kit I received could either smooth out cellulite or tone my skin a bit more, I wasn't going to complain.

- Each Bawdy Beauty sheet mask comes in an individually-packaged sheet, soaked with a serum I massaged into my skin after removing said sheet. The clay butt mask comes in a convenient stick format I simply draw on to my skin and leave to set for about 10 minutes before hopping into the shower.

- I set a goal of committing myself to butt-care every day for one month. Between the regular use of sheet masks, clay masks, and their CBD Butt Balm in between, I didn't have many expectations.

- I thought the whole concept may just be a gimmick, but my butt has never looked so toned in my life, and the cellulite I had is almost completely gone. I wear one every single day when I get the chance.

I'm incredibly skeptical when it comes to marketing ploys and gimmicks in the beauty world. I'll be the first cynic to try out the latest serum on the market every influencer is raving about just to negate every grandiose claim it makes.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments