While physical self-defense is definitely of the utmost importance, it isn't an immediate capability available to all.
Learning a martial art, or studying self-defense techniques, are both great and valuable assets if or when you find yourself in a violent encounter turned physical.
Physical self-defense should not be overlooked. It should not be under-estimated, under-appreciated, misconstrued, or ever discouraged.
Because it is important. It can be life-saving, obviously.
But it fails to be an immediate solution to a pressing problem for some women.
Self-defense is just as much of a mental game as it is physical.
Being smart: that can save your life.
Sun Tzu, author of The Art of War, said: "The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting."
Being able to protect yourself with your hands and feet is an extremely valuable skill when it comes to needing it. But, it is my hope that for most of you in never does, because no one exits a fight unharmed.
Preventative self-defense has very recently been coined as "feminist self-defense," as it's portrayed that there's only ever been two areas of self-defense.
Those being: 1. physical defense, and 2. a list of "never's," as in never wear this, never say that, never drink this, never go here, and so on.
None of these are specifically correct, seeing as how physical defense truly is the basis of self-defense, situational/self-awareness does actually play a major role, and "feminist self-defense" isn't at all correcting some flawed, traditional view of the subject.
It merely boils down to the fact that preventative measures are just as-- if not more-- important than mastering a swift kick to the kneecap or jab to the throat.
1. The survival instinct is real and is not to be ignored.
Feeling fear is a good sign that your survival instincts are intact. You need to appreciate the dangers to stay safe.
--Zoe Bell
Most often than not, psychologists report asking this question when dealing with assault victims: "Could you have seen this coming?"
The majority are said to rattle off the answer that it was either "Completely out of nowhere," or "It caught them off, guard." Though, after a moment, this statement is often followed with, "Well, I did have a really bad feeling about him," or "Maybe I had seen the van earlier in the day," or "He made me uncomfortable when he first approached me."
Survival instinct, a sixth sense, gut feeling... whatever you want to call it, is not something to downplay.
Often and easily ignored and dismissed as being silly, paranoid, or over-sensitive, bad feelings are brushed off quickly and without thought.
Trust that feeling. Listen to it. A worry of not coming off as rude to a persistent or overly-present possible assailant dims in the light of avoiding an assault.
2. Confidence is absolutely key.
Self-defense is not just a set of techniques; it's a state of mind, and it begins with the belief that you are worth defending. --Rorian Gracie
Assertiveness will protect you from more than a punch ever will. With an understanding that the majority of self-defense situations aren't women being jumped in a dark alley, but rather being assaulted by people they already know, our idea of self-defense shifts to something else.
With women being much more likely to be attacked by someone they know, rather than a stranger, self-defense could easily stay in an area of preventiveness rather than physical fighting-- if situations are handled correctly.
According to the Department of Justice's National Crime Victimization Survey, only 38 percent of nonfatal attacks were committed by strangers, while more than 70 percent of homicides were committed by someone known to the victim, such as an acquaintance, neighbor, or coworker.
Maintaining eye contact, and nodding hello to shady men you pass on the street, puts off a deterring air of confidence, opposite to that produced by shuffling by with your arms crossed, whilst avoiding eye contact-- implying easy victimization.
A study was conducted on men convicted of rape who were asked what assailants will look for in a victim. Most all mentioned that if they were greeted, the woman seemed self-assured, or if they came off as if they'd be confident enough to put up any sort of fight, they moved on.
3. Setting boundaries is beyond necessary.
Anyone who is aware of his environment knows that the peril of physical assault does exist, and that it exists everywhere and at all times. --Jeff Cooper
An acknowledgment of a need for boundaries is necessary before ever even setting them. A lack of boundaries usually derives from either a sense of insecurity to place them, or an ignorance of the fact that they are needed.
People will often disagree with your boundaries, but most won't challenge them.
Even grown women struggle with possessing the assertiveness to say no. It is perfectly within all of our rights to be verbal. Don't be afraid to tell people to "Stay back," or "Don't touch me." Clearly and forcefully stating what you are and aren't okay with early on in any given situation will better help you predict the outcome.
Boundary setting can be incredibly off-putting of attempted assault by people you already know, or who you meet in a casual setting. This can apply to overly-persistent co-workers, classmates, or people you might encounter in social settings, such as parties or bars.
4. Your intelligence can and will save your life.
Common sense, possibly a better term than intelligence in this manner, is a lacking ability for more than you'd think.
This could derive from either not fully understanding social safety, or merely and blatantly not caring.
This is the major argumentative point of "feminist self-defense," which projects the belief that avoiding places, people, and situations, where assault is more likely to occur, should not be your responsibility. But it is, and is also a major part of preventative self-defense.
People can argue this all they want, but avoiding situations with a statistically higher rate of producing assault, again-- statistically, will help you avoid assault.
This is not saying that assaults are deserved or wanted, but at the same time, there is a level of responsibility on you to avoid, whether this is particularly fair or not.
This common sense can be used in simple ways we overlook. Take corners wide, don't text in parking lots, try not to have your hands full of groceries, avoid stopping for gas after dark if able, lock your car doors if you're ever sitting in your car, and don't be afraid to turn down men's advances when you feel unsafe.
Self-defense ultimately comes down to duty and respect to and for yourself, and an actual acknowledgment of danger, rather than paranoia.
An air of confidence, a boldness to set boundaries and stick with them, harnessed common sense, and a developed, healthy respect for your survival instincts; those are things that can save your life.
