Today I am tired.

I'm tired of pouring my heart out and getting pain in return. I'm tired of giving unconditional love and receiving only conditional love back. I'm tired of putting my feelings to the side for others.

I'm tired of swallowing my pain. I'm tired of feeling alone. I'm tired of being strong. I'm tired of crying in quiet places and then rushing to wipe away my tears because there's still work to be done. I'm tired of pretending.

I'm tired of feeling my heart fall every time I am disappointed. I'm tired of never being enough. I'm tired of giving so much and having it go unrecognized. I'm tired of my efforts being ignored and my mistakes magnified.

I'm tired of praying unanswered prayers. I'm tired of my kindness being taken advantage of. I'm tired of being betrayed. i'm tired of being questioned. I'm tired of walking around with weights in my heart.

I'm tired of falling short. I'm tired of feeling lost and uninspired. I know I want to create. I know I want to make art that will touch others, but I just sit there, and everything I make seems to fall short. Nothing can capture the depth of what I want it to.

I'm tired of taking hit after hit. I'm tired of having to keep my head high.

I know this won't last forever. I know what goes around comes around. I know the sun will come up tomorrow. I know what is meant for me will find me. I know I am strong. I know I will overcome all things. I know love will find me. I know these things.

But today, today I am just tired.

Today I am not OK, and that's OK.