Before going straight into what "piece by piece" means to me, just think, what does that mean to you?

"Piece by piece" is a song by Kelly Clarkson. It's about how her father had left her alone when she was younger and it wasn't till she made something of herself, that he wanted to come back. This song is one that will always bring me to tears.

So how do I relate? Not only did I have one father not seem interested in me, but two.

I am not close to my father and unfortunately I don't think I ever will be. He and my mom got divorced when I was about 2 years old. He stayed in Tennessee while I moved to Massachusetts with my mother.

One day, mom met a man who later on, became my step-father. Not ever really seeing my biological father and never knowing much about him, I accepted this new man as my dad.

Years later, this man who I trusted and looked at as my real dad no longer was part of my life till about seven years later when we met again. During that time, my biological father had tried to build a relationship with me and we saw one another every so often. By that, I mean years. Now, I look at both as strangers because I really don’t know anything about either of them.

"Piece by piece" to me means basically what Kelly says in her lyrics:

"But piece by piece he collected me

Up off the ground where you abandoned things, yeah

Piece by piece he filled the holes

That you burned in me at 6 years old."

I have pieces missing to me when it comes to being cared and loved for by a strong male figure, but those pieces will be fixed and put back together one day when I marry someone special.

This November, I will turn 20. Looking back I realize that I am OK with the fact that I never had a father to kiss me goodnight, drive me places, do activities with, or have a father who could’ve taken me to the daddy-daughter dances, or have a father to threaten the boys. Missing out on all those experiences have made me very particular in what I want in a guy for myself to be with forever.

All in all, even though I will never know what it feels like to be truly loved and cared for by a father figure, I will be able to have a husband one day to fill the pieces that have been missing my whole life. And he will show our kids, "That a man can be kind and a father could... stay." Something I will never be able to experience.

And for the day when I have a daughter of my own this is to my two fathers,

“I will never leave her like you left me
And she will never have to wonder her worth
Because unlike you I’m going to put her first.”