When it comes to relationships, we all want to present the best version of ourselves. Perfection is a goal many of us strive for, but can never achieve. Furthermore, it is unfair to expect this unattainable perfection from your partner. Acceptance of their whole selves, mistakes and all, is the purest form of love you can show. Despite being flawed humans, there are things we unknowingly do that allow for an even greater appreciation for each other. Here is a list of the small qualities "perfect partners" have that make hearts flutter and hugs tighten.
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With the end of August approaching more quickly than many of us would like, the preparation for school is happening in more ways than just one.
The car is all packed. The money you saved (and didn't spend online) from your summer internship is secured quietly in your bank account. The immediate reunion with your long-distance college friends is set. The real question on everyone's minds is: do you have the perfect melody to jam to as you journey back to school?
This is the type of playlist that will make you want to slow down, take the backroad, roll down the windows and belt out lyrics like never before. The sun is setting behind you and you can conquer anything. If your life were a movie, this would be the soundtrack that played right after you accomplished all of your hopes and dreams.
*Disclaimer: if you hate good music and smiling, this may not be for you.*
Everyone could use more self-care and without the judgement...
Welcome to a new day and a new opportunity to be our best selves. Here's a list of 20 quotes about self-care, self-love, positivity, and finding inspiration. Carry these quotes with you throughout your day for positive upliftment!
1. "When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn't healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs, and habits - anything that kept me small. My judgment called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving."
― Kim McMillen
2. "Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful."– Albert Schweitzer
3. "You can't make positive choices for the rest of your life without an environment that makes those choices easy, natural, and enjoyable."
4. Deepak Chopra"Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact." – William James
5. "Good thoughts and actions can never produce bad results; bad thoughts and actions can never produce good results…We understand this law in the natural world, and work with it; but few understand it in the mental and moral world – although its operation there is just as simple and undeviating – and they, therefore, do not cooperation with it."- James Allen
6. "Positive thinking is more than just a tagline. It changes the way we behave. And I firmly believe that when I am positive, it not only makes me better, but it also makes those around me better."– Harvey Mackay
7. A grateful heart is a beginning of greatness. It is an expression of humility. It is a foundation for the development of such virtues as prayer, faith, courage, contentment, happiness, love, and well-being. James E. Faust
8. "If someone bases his/her happiness on major events like a great job, huge amounts of money, a flawlessly happy marriage or a trip to Paris, that person isn't going to be happy much of the time. If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness." —Andy Rooney
9. "If you look to others for fulfillment, you will never be fulfilled. If your happiness depends on money, you will never be happy with yourself. Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the world belongs to you." —Lao Tzu
10. "I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is not determined by our circumstance, but by our disposition."—Martha Washington
11. "Each day holds a surprise. But only if we expect it can we see, hear or feel it when it comes to us. Let's not be afraid to receive each day's surprise, whether it come to us as sorrow or as joy, it will open a new place in our hearts, a place where we can welcome new friends and celebrate more fully our shared humanity."—Henri Nouwen
12. "My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance, and in inverse proportion to my expectations." -Michael J. Fox
13. "When I was five years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy'. They told me I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life." -John Lennon
14. "Don't rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can't love and respect yourself – no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are – completely; the good and the bad – and make changes as YOU see fit – not because you think someone else wants you to be different." - Stacy Charter
15. "When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too."—Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
16. Happiness is always a by-product. It is probably a matter of temperament, and for anything I know it may be glandular. But it is not something that can be demanded from life, and if you are not happy you had better stop worrying about it and see what treasures you can pluck from your own brand of unhappiness. -Robertson Davies
17. If you observe a really happy man you will find him building a boat, writing a symphony, educating his son, growing double dahlias in his garden, or looking for dinosaur eggs in the Gobi desert. He will not be searching for happiness as if it were a collar button that has rolled under the radiator. He will not be striving for it as a goal in itself. He will have become aware that he is happy in the course of living life twenty-four crowded hours of the day. -W. Beran Wolfe
18. "Worrying about your job, the price of gas, the economy and other cares of the world will not increase your happiness factor." Patricia A Gilpin-Hudson; Carol R Muschette, Find Joy in Daily Living
19. "Each person must be committed to take charge of his or her own destiny for without this ownership, you will never find happiness, nor will you find your real purpose in life."- Byron Pulsifer, Words of Life
20. "I have also found that love, passion and happiness grow more from within than out. That is to say each one of us is responsible for our own happiness - you cannot give your responsibility for love or happiness to some one else expecting that it is there duty or place in life to make one happy." - Byron Pulsifer, Positive Mental Attitude
There's always a reason to be happy.
It doesn't cost a thing - so smile.
Your friends and Family
Always a reason to laugh with my friends and family.
A new notebook
Writing in a new notebook is top ten best feelings.
Living on the same planet with dogs
We, humans get the privilege of living on the same planet as dogs and animals.
Who doesn't love climbing into bed after a long day and being in clean sheets?
Drive thru Starbucks
You still get your coffee while in the comfort of still being in your car.
Waking up to an email that class is cancelled will instantly make your day.
A good movie
Watching a good movie makes any night better.
When you are wearing new shoes, you feel like you can conquer the world.
The trees changing colors
The trees changing colors doesn't make driving so bad.
Follow me on Spotify!
One of my favorite things to do when it comes to music is making different playlists on Spotify. I find it so fun to go back to old songs, find new ones, and categorize them into my different playlists. We all have that one playlist that we resort to when we are really feeling some type of way — also known as a "feels" playlist. If you have one of these playlists or feel ~inspired~ to make one, here are 11 songs that are a must to add.
1. "Mine" by Taylor Swift
I mean let's be real, what is a feels playlist without a little old T-Swifty. There is nothing like walking down memory lane and blasting the song that made us all believe in love.
2. "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus
Although this song may be one of the most basic and overused as the caption for an Instagram picture by a mountain, the lyrics of this song are so powerful. "The Climb" is a song where you really appreciate the journey of life even if you do not know the ending.
3. "Stop And Stare" by OneRepublic
This song always makes me stop and think. The lyrics have a deep meaning that can make you feel a bit lost at times that definitely hit you in the feels.
4. "Hallelujah" by Pentatonix
I am not sure why, but every single time I hear this the Pentatonix sing this song, I get the chills. This is technically a remake of the song since they did not write it, but all the different voices really give the song so much power. Although some of the lyrics are a bit odd, this remake of "Hallelujah" gives me major chills.
5. "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol
Maybe I love this song so much because it is in my all time favorite show, "One Tree Hill" (which you probably already know), but I absolutely love this song when it comes on shuffle. It is definitely a song I NEVER skip.
6. "Good Riddance" by Green Day
Whenever I hear this song I feel like I am listening to my parents telling me some sort of life lesson. It always gives me such inspiration whenever I listen to it and reminds me to enjoy life.
7. "Drops of Jupiter" by Train
There is nothing better than a good old song by Train. You will never be disappointed by "Drops of Jupiter" when it comes to a feels playlist. Train always hits that soft spot in my heart.
8. "Smile" by Uncle Kracker
Is it just me or does this song make you smile? For real though, this song always puts me in the best mood ever. It's positive vibes make me want to roll my windows down and take a nice long drive.
9. "Red" by Taylor Swift
I don't know why, but this song takes me back to my middle school days where I would play sad songs and pretend to be going through the "boy problems" Taylor Swift writes about. I vividly remember pulling the lyrics up and pretending to perform this song as if I was the lead singer at a concert.
10. "You and I" by Ingrid Michaelson
This song gives me no other feelings than wanting to go dance in a huge field of sunflowers in a white sundress. I couldn't tell you why exactly, but this song makes me feel so dainty and cute.
11. "Free Fallin'" by Tom Petty
Although this is the only John Mayer song I know (some would call me a fake fan), this song never fails to hit me in the feels.
Now that you are done reading this, I think it is time to find a spot for these killer feels songs in your playlist that makes you feel some type of way. Hop in a car, roll the windows down and blast these songs. I guarantee they will hit you in the feelings and unleash a bunch of different emotions.
A letter to my friends with RBF about understanding your own face and helping others deal with it.
To the girl with resting b**** face:
If you don’t know who you are, a hint is that people tell you to smile more. And it’s not because you have such a beautiful smile (although you may have), it’s because your other face looks unapproachable. Our faces all say different things, from sadness to anger. Mine tends to say, “I’m arrogant” and it comes with its own host of assumptions. When I don’t smile, people assume the worst about my attitude. When I do smile, some people assume I am doing so out of condescension. It can be a no-win situation and hard to deal with, but there is nothing wrong with me just like there is nothing wrong with you.
Please believe that you are a likable person. I didn’t realize I struggled with resting jerk face (as it is also known) until my first job when coworker peers told me. It was a shock to realize that my face was deterring people, but a relief to realize that it wasn’t my personality.
You are a valuable individual. I know that it’s hard to make friends. I know that people seem uncomfortable when they talk to you, even when you’re matching their expression. As an individual with resting jerk face, your perception of your expression is on a different scale. A good way to test your scale is by pausing in the middle of an activity, decide what you think your expression is and look in the mirror without changing it. You may realize that what you thought was a hearty smile is a slight upturn of the lips, or that a sympathetic look actually says, “How could you think that would work?” It could be that some of your expressions say the exact opposite of what you’re actually thinking.
Over the years, I’ve theorized and tested approaches for accurately expressing myself. Some are horribly awkward and others terribly exhaustive. As a 20-year-old and an introvert, I’ve found that these two techniques generate the best results and are easily sustainable:
- Tag-team your words and your expression. When you’re feeling sympathetic, say something like, “I’m really sorry this is happening to you,” and when you’re interested in what the other person is saying, a comment like, “This is really interesting; tell me more!” This goes a long way. You’re basically describing your expressions for people, which may sound dumb, but after a few conversations your friends will be able to recognize your expression and accurately read your mood. You do have to keep it up when you meet strangers, but it eventually becomes habit and others will appreciate the clarity. You’ll find that your relationships all around will improve.
- Think about smiling. Our faces don’t spontaneously smile and so if we don’t think about smiling, we’re often not smiling. Train your mind to react to a pair of eyes by smiling at them. Soon it will become habit, too. I know it’s difficult when they don’t return the gesture (I usually think, “Great, I just wasted my energy on that person. Now I don’t even want to smile to someone who does smile back!”) but remember that they just might have a resting b**** face, too.
Something important to remember is that you can’t win others over every time. I know you can’t always subtly describe your expression to someone and that you’re not always thinking about smiling. You will get discouraged from time to time when a person simply doesn’t respond to your methods, but hang in there. Remember that it is not you. You have a unique personality that others will cherish when they take the time to get to know you. Your smile just lets them know that you won’t bite if they try.
Your friendly member of the RBF sisterhood
1. Brittany Morgan, National Writer's Society
2. Radhi, SUNY Stony Brook
3. Kristen Haddox, Penn State University
4. Jennifer Kustanovich, SUNY Stony Brook
5. Clare Regelbrugge, University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign