For as long I can remember I've had a simple and comfortable identity that I've laid claim to. I've been Gracie, the studious, stubborn girl who spends her time reading or writing. I've never been anyone else. I've watched pridefully as my friends became the musicians and adventurers and athletes of our world-- secretly wondering if I would ever be anything more than the girl who's just good at school. I'll be the first one to admit that I love the safety associated with my "stereotype." No one ever expects me to have a hidden musical talent, run a sub-six-minute mile or spend a weekend rock climbing in the Rockies. Instead, I'm only expected to work hard and finesse my way through school; it's doable-- it's safe and cushiony, it's a lifestyle I've mastered for the past two decades.

However, over the past year, I've been a little lost. The kind of lost every 20-year old who knows what the word existential means experiences. The best way I can describe the feeling that's been burrowing in my heart for the past year is that iconic sentiment you get when you're plopped into a brand new city with a brightly colored map and no specific destination for the day. I've been wandering around aimlessly for a while now but going into this summer I knew I had to "figure things out." In a desperate attempt to pull myself together I started to surround myself with books. I found myself buying the classics, picking up copies of coveted memoirs and flipping through the pages of ancient histories. I figured someone's soul spilled out on paper might provide me with some sense of direction.

I ended up picking up a copy of Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert one day during my lunch break and I knew this book was going to be a game changer. This brilliant text chronicles a year in the life of Liz, a thirty-something-year-old divorcée, as she rebuilds her life and let's go of all the chaos that has been cast upon her. I've been told it's the ultimate middle-aged mom book. However, this summer Eat Pray Love has become my Bible-- it's been the focal point of my efforts to refocus my life.

Liz asks two powerful questions of herself early on in her journey of self-discovery. She asks, "What do you want to do?" and "Is this lifetime supposed to be about duty?" I read these two questions and was immediately floored. They became segues to other great questions that most 20-year-olds are too afraid of asking themselves. I thought about the image of myself that I've spent over a decade trying to keep up. Did I really want to be this person? The girl that could be described in just three or four words? If my world ceases to exist in this instant would I be proud of the person that I am? Would I be enough for myself?

I then started to ask myself, what did I actually want to do? I'm 20 years old, I'm in college and I want to make a difference in this world; that's always been crystal clear but there has to be more. I started to ask, "Great, but what else? You can do anything in this world, what else?" And then it dawned on me. I want to do everything that has ever scared me.

I realized that somewhere along the line the comfort that I found in my structured little identity had made me fear an incredible amount of things. In fact, I started a list of all things and ideas that scared me, it consumed page upon page of my bullet journal. As my list grew, I came to realize that I was afraid of all these things because somewhere along the line someone told me I couldn't do something and I believed them! I had let myself believe that there was no way I was capable of doing such out of the box things for the past decade! I was dumbfounded and overwhelmed by this idea that I could do anything I wanted to do in this world. I have no one to report to, no one to impress, I don't exist to please another soul other than my own. My duty is to myself. What a revolutionary notion.

For the past three weeks I've been diligently crossing things off of that list. I've gone rock climbing and bouldering, I've gone dancing at a salsa social, I've been applying to new jobs, I've even been cooking up a storm in my kitchen. But I'm just getting started.

In retrospect it seems absurd that for even one minute I doubted my ability to be more than the person the people around me have perceived me to be. People weren't kidding when they said life has an incredible learning curve-- here I am learning how to be myself (whoever that may be).

If you take anything away from this piece I hope it's this, be who you want to be. It sounds so cliche I know, but I'm serious take the phrase you've heard a thousand times to heart and begin to ask yourself who you want to be. Don't pursue this image of what others perceive you to be. Don't keep up appearances because you think you have to. Find what you love, find what scares you the most and pursue it. Take the time to study yourself, to reflect, to identify which habits and passions are actually yours and not just projections of what someone once wanted you to be. Step out of that silly box, identify your comfort zone and run straight out of it. The world is far too vast and far too vibrant for you to miss out on.