With early action decisions just released from UVA and the remaining admissions just on the horizon, I can't help but think about my own journey to the university. A little over a year ago today, I trembled with a phone in hand, holding my breath and then sighing with relief upon seeing my acceptance. The feeling was remarkable and unmatched, but I'm not exactly sure why.
I had no burning passion for UVA, or any attitudes of preference for any other school, as a matter of fact, and yet, I still felt amazing. The following months, however, weren't that of impatient elation to join the student body, but rather anxious impatience for a sign of some sorts—a divine moment of intuition where I'd know exactly where I belong.
That moment never came.
And here I am, a year later, knowing exactly where I belong.
Or at least…thinking I do.
But the truth is if I went all but blind into my school of choice and turned out to be in one of the happiest and most fulfilling seasons of my life, is it possible that I could've found the exact same feelings elsewhere? And perhaps an even scarier idea to toy with: is it possible that I could be better off in a completely different environment?
I am here by fate? Or is this just an insignificant happenstance? Has everything I've ever experienced led me to exactly where I need to be? Or did I go down one of many paths that lead to similar or various destinations?
These thoughts are frightening to deal with. It pulls into question the impact that every little decision I make daily has on my destination. I wonder if I need to be making a play by play of my life from here on out or if should I be closing my eyes and leaping because that methodology has treated me well thus far.
Once you see the light at the end of the tunnel, it is easy to say fate brought you through it, and fate put you at the end. Maybe that's true; maybe it isn't. At the end of the day, I don't know what to do about fate. I don't know if I accept full control—which can be overwhelming—or if I relinquish it all to the powers that be—which can be dangerous. And the not knowing may just be the best way to go about it. Until I know how the universe governs my steps, I must constantly teeter on the helms of control.
So my message to those eighteen-year-olds whose future lays in the hands of one big choice is: it's going to be okay. There is no right choice. If it is fate, you don't have to worry; if it's not, you'll carve your own path. Whether you're in this alone or you've got the universe on your side, I believe in the U—be it you or the universe.
