In light of Domestic Violence Awareness month, I listened to "Warrior" by Demi Lovato today. (If you've never listened to it before, I strongly urge you to.. whether you've been through DA or not, it could probably fit any bad situation a person could be in) But it brought me back to the darker times in my life. It brought back flashbacks of memories I would like to forget forever, and ones that I wish I would have never let myself go through. I question myself everyday as to why I let things get as bad as I did, and sometimes I still blame myself. I think back to the pain I went through, and wish to never feel that kind of pain again..
But, then I look around me. First of all, the biggest accomplishment I have made, is that I'm alive. That is definitely not something I thought I would be today, and honestly, I didn't think it was something that I wanted to be doing, either. Even after the terrible things I went through, even after I stopped looking for good people to come into my life, I stumbled across a perfect man that never gave up on me and helped lift the baggage I brought into his life right off of my shoulders. I found a man with patience and sincerity, and I knew almost instantly that there was hope for me. After those horrible things I went through, I pushed through, and went to college, even when I didn't want to. I moved away for a year and found myself, and met and reconnected with some of the greatest people in the world. Since those terrible times, I have been offered many opportunities and have been blessed in so many ways. I've found things that I actually enjoyed, and for once, I let myself enjoy them. I let myself enjoy them, because I knew I deserved to.
While all of these things are great, I will be the first to admit that I had to fall down and break many, many times. The journey that I made from my life crumbling to pieces, to where I am now, seemed almost impossible. But I am here today, advocating for those victims of domestic violence to let them know that better things have yet to come. That there actually are far better things ahead than the things you left behind. That while it's one of the hardest and scariest things you could go through, that there is hope after domestic violence, and that it doesn't overcome you. That you will find love when you stop looking for it, and you will eventually find love in yourself. That even though someone came along and stole a piece of you that you can't take back, you will build yourself a new piece and come out stronger than before. That even though a person completely broke and changed the person you once were, that you are now strong enough to forgive that person for the things they did.
The journey doesn't stop, and even though it takes a very long time, it does get easier. And while it seems never ending, you will achieve bigger and better things.
"All the pain, and the truth, it hurts like a battle wound. So ashamed, so confused, I'm not broken or bruised. Now I'm a warrior, I've got thicker skin. I'm a warrior, I'm stronger than I've ever been. And my armor is made of steel, you can't get in. I'm a warrior, and you can never hurt me again".