Life is not simple and life certainly doesn’t have a clear path. Every day we face hills, even mountains, to achieve a point where you feel safe and sound. But what happens when you get thrown a curveball? What happens then when you can’t fix the problem right away, or even fix it yourself.
I come from a strong family, one of the strongest I’ve ever known. To put it simply, not even a genetics counselor could solve all our family’s medical history, certainly not a vicious heart disease known as hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. Welcome to my family’s history… seriously though all our medical bills could probably pay for a hospital wing. That’s another thing, I hate hospitals so much… mostly because of all the sick patients but also because that’s where I heard the sentence, “You should really go on the heart transplant list”, from the lips of the fancy specialist doctor. My father has dealt with heart problems for a majority of his life but this seemed to be much more serious than anything I’ve heard before. You sort of feel like you’re on a rollercoaster ride that will never stop; some good days, some bad. I don’t think it’s fully sunk into my mind that this is our family’s’ new reality. Luckily, we’re at a point where we caught it early and he has more time than anything else on his side. It’s not urgent, it’s not something he will have to face in the near future, but it is scary, as any medical issue is.
When I was younger, my father always told me to follow my dreams, be strong, and never fear. All of which I do, including the fear partly because honestly, fear always seems to find its way into my life. Fear is something I don’t think any of us can fully get rid of, we are all just human. I have learned, though, that it doesn’t have to be our worst enemy, but rather just another hill to climb and soon it will pass. In my case however, this is more like the highest mountain in the world, Mount Everest for those of you that don’t know.
My father taught me that life is just too short to be stuck on something that you can’t overcome, but when you truly cannot do anything but wait for a miracle, it’s more frustrating than anything we’ve ever had to face. Disease, especially in the heart can be deadly and that scares the living hell out of me, but as I live each and every day, I have to remember to stay positive through it all. Staying positive is also extremely hard when you never know what’s coming next but we all have to dig deep and find some positivity within. Here’s the part where I thank my family, my friends, and the love of my dogs for always being there to help me stay as positive as possible.
Not being able to help fix someone you love so much is a battle in itself but I hope each and every one of you going through a similar situation can know that you’re certainly not alone in this. That exact mentality helps me realize that it’ll all be ok soon. There was never a road map on how to be patient in situations like these but I’m so thankful for the positivity and kindness around me at school, at home, and everyone along the way.
To my father and all mothers, fathers, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and friends going through similar situations: know how much you mean to me and how much you influence me every single day. This is something we will get through together and I’m here for you every step of the way. Don’t get frustrated with the hand of cards you were dealt in life because it won’t fix anything. You have your family and friends to help get you over the mountain and they will never stop helping you. You are my biggest inspiration and motivator in life and I love you to the moon and back and again and again to infinity and beyond. It will all be ok, I promise.
Love You Always,
Your Loving Daughter
xoxo
