No, It's Not Different For Girls
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Relationships

No, It's Not Different For Girls

Dierks Bentley's song reinforces the idea that women are incapable of physical relationships without emotions.

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No, It's Not Different For Girls
Pixabay

There are always those songs you tend to sing along with and enjoy because of the melody, but without thinking of what the lyrics actually say.

As I sang along with lyrics about how things are different for girls, I started to think. Wait, are things really that different for girls?

I ask you to listen to the words and think, is this true for all girls or just the perception of girls?

"She don't throw any t-shirt on and walk to a bar
She don't text her friends and say, 'I gotta get laid tonight.'
She don't say, 'It's okay, I never loved him anyway.'
She don't scroll through her phone just looking for a Band-Aid"

But yet, how many of us do in fact know girls that can, and in fact, do this? Why do we assume that girls don't just throw on a t-shirt and walk to a bar? Why is it thought that girls don't have the same intentions of "getting laid" that guys do? Why is normal to think that girls have to love someone in order to hook up? Why is the assumption that girls don't scroll through their phones looking for a band-aid?

If you read that and think about the girls who that DOES apply to, that's totally fair. That's not the point. The point of this song is trying to reinforce these gender stereotypes that women can't have a physical relationship without more stemming from it and that men are not emotional.

When will it be a common thought to assume that both men and women can have casual hookups without feelings being attached? And that both men and women can are capable of being emotional?

"It's different for girls when their hearts get broke
They can't tape it back together with a whiskey and coke
They don't take someone home and act like it's nothing
They can't just switch it off every time they feel something
A guy gets drunk with his friends and he might hook up
Fast forward through the pain, pushing back when the tears come on"

For every girl that you know that this does apply to is a guy that feels the same. And for every guy that can put their lives back together with a "whiskey and coke" is a girl who can do the exact same thing.

It's not about things being different for girls. It's about living in a society that reinforces that the brains of women and men are so vastly different that it's impossible to assume anything about either gender.

So no, Dierks Bentley, it's not always different for girls.

To all my girls who do appreciate and vibe with the lyrics of this song, I appreciate you. But remember that for every time this idea is reinforced is the idea that men are also incapable of showing emotion. Relationships are not about the differences and expectations of men and women but rather about the communication in a pair to set those expectations for both people, talk about consent, decide limits, and effectively communicate what a relationship is or isn't.

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