Newness. A fresh start. As winter break comes to a close and my second semester of college begins, this concept of starting over is on my mind and heart a lot.
Last semester was full of ups and downs. A lot of times I would be upset with myself for not getting good grades, and a lot of that, I think, had to do with the fact that I've dealt with multiple chronic health problems for 6+ years (thankfully during this month off I have been getting a lot of answers--all the doctor appointments were exhausting but I am oh so thankful for the doctors I have that are so able and willing to help find answers). But I also think a significant part of me getting lower grades had to do with the difficulties I have concentrating and staying focused on work. It takes a lot for me to stay focused on much of anything.
But my first semester of college also had high points. I met a lot of amazing people, I had wonderful professors, and the chapel services and the prayer ministry I was a part of were both so refreshing to me. Spending time with the Lord can definitely refresh me and encourage me.
The last week of the semester was particularly difficult with exams, my health, various relationships, and more. I was desperate for a break. I felt like I was never done with my work. It's probably a typical college thing and I will most likely feel pretty worn out at the end of most, if not all, of my semesters, but this one was particularly draining for not only myself but for a lot of people I know.
Winter break started out hard as I was still recovering from my semester, but it definitely got better. I spent Christmas Eve & Day and New Year's Eve & Day with a lot of wonderful friends and family. Spending an extended amount of time with a large amount of people like I did on those holidays left me exhausted, yet grateful. Grateful that I have so many people that the Lord has placed in my life who love me, who care about me, who think of me and pray for me often.
As my winter break comes to a close, I can say I'm looking forward to this semester probably even more than I looked forward to the first one. For one thing, I am entering this new semester with many more answers regarding my health than I did the first one--and that fact by itself comforts me, knowing now that I can have a plan of how to properly take care of myself. I also am looking forward to more chapel services, more ministry opportunities, new relationships, growing in my musical abilities (learning more chords and songs on ukulele and guitar), but most of all, being more intentional in my walk with Christ. Part of why my last semester was hard was because a lot of what I did was self-centered...when my whole life should really be Christ-centered.
Perhaps you are also entering a new season of life. A new semester of school, a new job, a new relationship. Or, maybe you're in a season you've been in for awhile and you desperately want newness. Regardless of where you find yourself, I would urge you to be introspective and reflect upon where you are right now--whether it's a place you want to be in or not. During my freshman year of high school, I remember a teacher of mine telling our class something along the lines of, "You may have blown it in 8th grade. You may have blown it last week. You may have blown it yesterday. You may have blown it in the class period before this one, but you can start anew right now. Even if you blew it five minutes ago, right now you can have a fresh start, a new day." That has stuck with me and been very encouraging to me. And although now is a somewhat appropriate time to start anew, anytime to start over and be refreshed can be the appropriate time.
I truly hope that whoever reads this finds encouragement in it and is not afraid to have a new beginning. You are free to begin again right now. There is no need to live in the past; we all make mistakes. What is in the past is in the past. It still has effects, but it is not permanent and there is grace and forgiveness for our every mistake.
