There are certain weeks I am just in a really testy mood.
It doesn't have to be for any good reason other than that adulthood tests me and manages to get the best of my mood from time to time. I can literally feel myself getting more and more impatient as the days in the week pass.
Like many people, I find it easier to release my frustration at home, and unfortunately enough for him, my fiance is a part of "home" and will get caught in the crossfire once in a while. However, it should NOT be my fiance's responsibility to seek an answer for my testy mood. That has to be on me.
One day, I got tired of carrying the aftermath of my bad day home with me.
I felt guilty for being this type of partner, so I did some real soul searching to see if I could figure out what the issue was.
Turns out, things got more difficult for me when I stopped dating my fiancé.
Yes, that's right, silly me thought I could just be engaged. I figured, "well we're way past the dating stage, so now we focus on what "almost" newlyweds do, right?"
COMPLETELY WRONG! DATING YOUR PARTNER SHOULD NEVER BE IN THE PAST!
Think about it for a second: During your work week, do you focus on putting your phone down and really hearing your partner? There honestly were several days I'd just get home after work, hurry and stuff my face (I get hangry) by myself, then look at a screen for the majority of the night until it was time for bed. It's easy for this to become a routine. That thought in and of itself is exhausting and can easily begin to frustrate you.
So date nights became a regular occurrence for us again.
It didn't have to be dinner! It didn't even have to be us going outside of our house. We just both agreed and acknowledged the fact that what would be good for us would be continuing to date one another and spend time doing something the other person enjoyed... together.
Ethan loves games: board games, video games, arcade games, physical games! Name a game and I swear to goodness my fiance would be down for it. A good competition and challenge truly excites the guy. As for me, I'm much more mellow. The anxiety I get trying to win something or watching someone trying to win something is always sky high.
With that being said, I know how happy these activities make him, so obviously I will always try and do that with him.
I like to cook, but LOVE to eat. I will always dedicate my time with him to doing more things in the kitchen and finding food we both love, together. It made sense for our date nights to play some games, then finish it up with a meal of my choosing. We could both talk to one another, hear one another, while also doing things we absolutely LOVE together!
This just started to become a crucial part of our weeks AND relationship.
As we dive deeper and deeper into adulthood, we both recognize how busy our schedules get. We can also clearly identify when the other person is stressed. It's that much more important for one of us to just be like- "let's stop, take a breather, and have a date night."
Every time we decide on a date night, our moods shift drastically.
The rest of the week feels easier, and tension one of us may have carried home completely vanishes once we just talk and get back to showing our love to one another through dating.
Date nights are important people, I'll say it again! We all need to remember to never stop dating our partner. I always looked at my parents and admired their relationship. I recognized they weren't a perfect couple because no one truly is, but I was able to identify a strong love and mutual respect they clearly both had for one another.
As I looked back at their marriage and reflected, it became clear to me that they never missed a date night. Each week they found a time to devote to each other, by themselves. They never stopped dating, and still to this day haven't and are really happy together!
I never want to stop either.
I fell in love with my partner through dating him, so why not always do what created that love in the first place?
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