I know this is common knowledge to everyone, and I know that it might be cheesy. However, as a young adult, this is one of the few times that I've actually felt connected and rooted with my family. I felt so accepted and carefree about my life and my relationships with each of them and accepted that happiness. I accepted their love because I knew that I deserved it, needed it and thrived on it.
After going off college and now at my third year, I realize that I can't be fully independent as a growing person (and a student at that) without my family's help. I always thought of myself as a person who was okay with every situation and preferred to always step outside of my comfort zone. I flew to LA (from Mexico City) to study for 4 years, flew to Berlin for a summer, and flew to other countries with people I had just met to explore more. I love that trait of my personality and I love that fearlessness in anyone that I've met. But, I realize now that doing that requires so much courage and strength and that my own courage and strength is tested. With every bad decision or bad situation, I had to handle by myself and would never truly open up about it because I knew I could do it alone. But, I can't. I can't do it alone-- not because I'm weak or tired or lazy, but because I have no support. And anything without support won't hold itself up. It will temporarily, but not eternally.
When I came back to LA after my summer, I was plummeted into a series of events that truly pissed me off, that made me cry, and that made me want to go back home. I never felt true nostalgia and homesickness until this week. Call me a baby, but I missed my mom. I think it's hard for this generation, especially those who are just learning who they are outside of their families and their familiar worlds, to admit that and to be okay with saying that out loud. You're not a baby or a coward for missing something or someone that you find comfort in or wanting to feel accepted and unconditionally loved. At the end of the day, the best people who can do that are members of your family.
I have felt both mentally and spiritually at peace when I returned home and spent more time with my family. I realized that I was visiting and socializing but I wasn't connecting. This time, I made it my goal to actually connect. And it worked. I had a fun time with my entire family. That would've been a hard thing to say and I would've preferred to say that I was bored all summer, but I felt completely content and happy with my parents and family.
I am and will always be grateful to have such great parents who love me and who will always try to help me and a family that always welcomes me with open arms.
