It's OK To Have Mixed Emotions About Good Things

I honestly can't believe it actually happened-I graduated college.

I thought high school graduation was the biggest thing I'd ever done, but graduating college is even crazier to think about!

After starting college at Sam Houston in August of 2015, experiencing more stressors than I'd like to even think about, dropping out of school, returning after a year of work, and finally finishing my college career in 3 years instead of 4, a lot of thoughts are running through my head.

I graduated about 2 weeks ago, and I honestly don't know what to think.

Don't get me wrong; I'm really excited about graduating, but there are a lot of other emotions associated with graduation that aren't exactly emotions I'd like to deal with.

I don't know if it's just a personality thing or if it has to do with my zodiac sign (Cancer), but I've never been good with change. I don't necessarily hate it, but I will do everything in my power to prevent change from occurring.

I remember how most of my friends were really excited about graduating from high school, but I definitely wasn't. People would ask me why I wasn't excited, and I would always reply with, "I'm not ready."

Now that I'm leaving and taking a few years off of school before I go back for my Master's, the same thoughts are running through my head: "I'm not ready."

However, I have to remind myself that you can't always wait until you're ready because that might mean waiting forever.

If I waited until I was ready and confident enough to write for Odyssey, start doing stand-up comedy and travel to Alabama for my first scholarly conference, I never would've done any of these things.

The confidence comes after the action.

Even so, it's okay to feel emotions other than excitement when making a big transition in your life.

For example, I was terrified about starting college. I didn't want things to change because I liked the way things were going. I wanted everything to stay the same.

I was excited about having some independence, but I was unsure how I would handle being an independent adult.

I was relieved to have a roommate I clicked with right from the start, but I was anxious about how my friendships from high school would change.

I was ecstatic to study a subject I actually cared about instead of reading books I didn't choose for a class I didn't like, but I would miss my extracurricular activities like choir and theatre.

I was ready to watch myself grow into the person I was supposed to be, but I would be missing out on watching my best friend's 7-month-old daughter grow up.

There's gonna be rewards and trade-offs in any situation you face.

Now that I graduated from college, a lot of these all-too-familiar mixed emotions are returning as I make yet another huge transition.

I'm relieved that I won't have to write any papers for a few years, but I'll miss the busy schedule of college life.

I'm sad to be leaving my college friends, but I'm excited to reunite with my friends from back home who I rarely get to see anymore.

I'm ready to take on the real world since I have a job lined up for when I graduate, and I have amazing coworkers who made me feel like family before I even went in for the interview!

I know this is going to be a huge change and even though I'm scared, I know I'm ready!

SHSU Class of 2019, let's do this thing!