marriage and divorce

Statistics claim half of all marriages end in divorce. I guess that means my family must be doing marriage right.

When my mother was fifteen, her father left home. She followed his tracks a year later, a lone animal cutting through the thick Minnesota snow, and banged her fists on his polished door to be let in from the chilling bite in the air. "I'm never going back to that house," she said regarding her mother, a neurotic storm who raged by slamming cupboards and crashing dishes on the floor. He let her in. When my mother was eighteen, her father married another woman and cleansed himself of his kin. Erased, she moved in with her grandparents.

People ask silly questions online. Why do people get married? Should a depressed person marry? "Depression is a lot to put on someone," read a Youtube video comment. I agreed. Someone argued against them, calling them inconsiderate. Depression is a lot to handle. I know. It would be a lot to put on someone. Could divorce be hereditary like disease?

Traditions shape people's opinions of weddings. The maid of honor must hold the trail of the dress as the bride walks down the aisle. The mothers of the wedded couple must coordinate their dresses. The newlyweds must save the top tier of their wedding cake, freeze it, and eat it on their first anniversary. That sounds disgusting.

Surveys poll the most common reasons for divorce: infidelity, arguing, incompatibility, abuse. The list goes on. Growth stems from conflict, I tell myself. Relationships without conflict are shallow, I tell myself.

People divorce because they don't know how to live together. They don't stop loving each other, they just stop communicating. My mother told me this as she complained about my father's incapacity to listen. She was determined to avoid repeating her parent's mistake.

The Bible claims divorce is a sin. Christians forget this. Humans crave an easy escape.

I was never fortunate enough to meet my father's parents. When grandma died of a stroke, grandpa blamed the doctors for killing his wife and refused to swallow his medication. A month later he tumbled from his bed, inked the floor with his blood, and crumpled beneath the weight of his loss, spilled and broken. Death was less painful than living without the one he loved. I suppose there's hope for some marriages.

My aunt lives alone in the house her father died in. For several years she went on dates with random men, attempting to replace the love she lost from her own divorce decades prior. She couldn't replicate the love her parents had.

My sister spent twenty-five thousand dollars on her wedding. I wondered how many concert tickets could be purchased with that amount of money. My heart aches with hope for her.

Once as an adolescent, I asked my mother, "Are you and dad going to get a divorce?"

"Of course not. What a silly question. Why would you ask that?"

"No reason."

That evening, I stood in the middle of the staircase at home as I listened to my parents yell at each other from the kitchen. Dishware crashed on the wooden floorboards. I sat, tucked my knees beneath my arms, and snickered. My brain was already rewiring itself by erasing traumatic memories as an involuntary coping mechanism.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Lifestyle

These 11 Face Masks On Etsy Support Small Businesses While Fighting The Spread Of Coronavirus

We're staying safe as states start lifting lockdown guidelines.

I, like most people who have had the luxury of being able to stay at home during this time, haven't spent much time outdoors at all. But when I do brave the great outdoors for a walk or to get to the grocery store, you won't find me without a mask.

My family and I were lucky enough to have family friends who were sewing some and had extras to give to us, but most of my friends and loved ones outside my immediate family have had to order some (or make a makeshift one out of scarves or bandanas).

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

13 Reasons We're Using Quarantine As The Ultimate Excuse For Online Shopping This Month

The one thing we haven't distanced from is our bank account.

Throughout quarantine, I've been FaceTiming most of my friends in a full turtleneck or the go-to cozy sweater I keep wrapped around the chair in my room. Either way, I always have tea in my hands to keep myself warm — till this past week.

For most of the country who hasn't had the luck of quarantining in 90-degree weather on their family's lake house or with a backyard pool, things began to change this month. Our favorite shows came out with summer seasons, the sun came out, and we started spending more time outside.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Sat Down (Virtually) With Morgan Wooten To Talk About Coronavirus's Impact On The Wellness Industry

Just because coronavirus has greatly impacted the wellness industry doesn't mean wellness stops.

Morgan Wooten

If you're anything like me, your weekly fitness classes are a huge part of your routine. They keep me fit, healthy, and sane. Honestly, these classes help my mental health stay in tip-top shape just as much as they help my physical health.

Due to the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic, gyms and fitness studios are facing temporary closure. Yes, this means my personal routine is thrown a curveball, but this also means the wellness industry is one of many that is looking at unemployment and hardship. Do I miss my Monday spin class? Of course. But do the wellness professionals whose worlds were flipped upside down have a lot more to overcome than a slight change of routine? Absolutely. Thankfully, if anyone can prove the ultimate flexibility, it's the wellness industry.

Keep Reading... Show less
HBO Max

If you are a normal person who spends most of their time streaming TV shows, you'll know that "Friends" was taken off Netflix early in 2020. Given that a global pandemic followed shortly after, many diehard fans of the show stuck in quarantine have been experiencing significant Central Perk withdrawal.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

How To Interview A Class Of 2020 Graduate

What they've been through is truly unprecedented.

Odyssey

No matter how you want to spin it, the Class of 2020 will be the first class graduating amidst a global pandemic.

Keep Reading... Show less
Netflix

By now, it is safe to declare "Outer Banks" on Netflix as THE TV Show of quarantine.

"Tiger King" got out to an early lead, but since, the Pogues and the Kooks have owned pop culture conversations while everyone has been couped up this spring amidst a global pandemic. And if you are one of the very few people out there in the world that has not heard about "Outer Banks" and or haven't binged it yet, well...

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Spoke To A California ER Doctor About COVID-19, And Y'all, Our Healthcare Workers Know What's Up

In light of what's going on in the world, it's time to get some front-line perspective.

It seems like the only thing I do these days is scroll through social media in a desperate attempt to gain information. My phone has called me out on my screen time more than once, and I just continue to ignore it. You're probably in the same boat — stuck at home, scrolling deeper and deeper into a hole of conspiracy theories and possible "back to normalcy" dates, hungry for information.

While we know that the news is not our mental health's friend these days, getting reliable information is helpful and necessary.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments