I am going to start out by saying, I am not the kind of person to throw religion in your face and that is certainly not the point of this article. I am sure, however, that we can at least agree on the fact that we have all faced challenging situations in our lives, but we chose a positive path and came out a stronger and better person, right?
Well, my reasoning for that just so happens to be because I chose to live a life through faith and God.
I have been put to the test quite a few times in my life- I mean, haven't we all? In those moments of pain and what feels like massive suffering, I have always wondered, "Why? What did I do to deserve this?" In those times, it was hard to see an end, it was hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, and above all, it was hard to trust and believe in anything. I have always believed in God, but I have never acted on faith. I never put full trust in Him or let Him take control. It wasn't too long ago that I was put to another one of life's harder tests, but this time, I handled things differently: I surrendered myself to God.
And as I am sitting here writing this, I think about how now I know I had to go through the pain in order to lead me down the path of living my life through God. This is exactly where He wants me to be.
The true pivotal moment where I began building my life on faith was soon after this painful and life-changing event, which lead me to go church. The message that they taught that day was about letting go. Out of all the possible things in the world they could have discussed, they discussed the topic of letting go and giving it to God. Something in me that day changed, and I knew at that moment, it changed me forever. During the sermon that day, they read aloud Proverbs 3:5-6; they read: "Trust in the lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths."
I now have that hanging up in my room.
I look at it, read it every day and I remind myself that whatever comes my way, to trust in the Lord with my entire being, knowing he will take care of me because I found true strength and power in letting go and letting God.
Sometimes we don't want to face the truth about ourselves. Sometimes we do not want to seek help because it means we will have to change, and change can sometimes be painful and unpredictable. And sometimes we find ourselves at a crossroads between good and evil, which I believe there is both inside all of us, but what defines you is which one you chose to act upon. I saw this post the other day and it read,
"A woman was talking to a girl and said, 'there are two wolves always fighting inside me. One is filled with anger, hate, jealousy, shame and lies. The other wolf is filled with love, joy, truth and peace. This battle rages inside of you and all people.' The girl thought for a moment and asked, 'Which wolf will win?' The woman answered, 'The one you feed.'"
It is such a powerful message and something I believe we all battle on a daily basis, especially when life throws us a curve-ball and puts us to the test. At that point, which one will you decide to feed?
I, personally, decided to feed the wolf-filled with love, joy, truth and peace. I can proudly say now, that I see the world differently, I see my life differently and most importantly, I see myself differently. Many people have been telling me recently how much I have changed, in all the good and positive ways. I smile at them knowing exactly how and why I have become a better and happier person. The day I gave myself to God, believe me, I was terrified but my pastor, Chad Moore, said, "Growth is on the other side of your fear, and if you refuse to move until the fear is gone, you will never move."
I have found strength, wisdom, courage, acceptance and clarity from Him.
I have put all my trust in Him,
He has made me fearless.
During my times of struggle, I still thank him when I feel weak, I still take steps of faith when I feel uncomfortable, and I know with that, God will continue to give me strength beyond my natural ability. He has taught me mercy, grace and to see the beauty in every situation. I always pray to have eyes that see the best in people, a heart that forgives the worst and a soul that never loses faith in God. During my journey thus far in self-discovery and saying 'yes' to following Jesus, I decided that it was time to not only wash away my sins but to wash away the old me; I am now getting baptized for the first time in my life on May 19, 2019. It is a beautiful thing to know and understand that someone will always be there no matter what and have such a true and unconditional love. I am blessed.