How To Make A Life Plan For Your Twenties And Thirties

To All The 20-Somethings With Big Dreams But No Idea What They're Doing, This One's For You

It's OK, me too girl, me too.

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"Embrace the glorious mess that you are." — Elizabeth Gilbert

For most of us, we spend our whole life dreaming about what we'll be when we grow up and wishing for the future. Now that we're finally at the point in our lives to make our dreams a reality, we find our selves confused as hell.

So why is that?

Well, like all things in life, it's a lot easier said than done.

When we're little everyone around us was constantly saying how "the sky's the limit," and "the world's our oyster," so there's a lot of pressure to turn all of that potential into something great.

Pressure from our parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, teachers, and gossipy moms of the neighborhood, but more than anything pressure from ourselves. We've built so much up in our head about what our life is going to be like, how amazing everything will be and now we're at the pivotal point where we can make or break our dreams.

Whatever happens next, there will be no one else to blame but ourselves, and that's a scary thought.

If there's anything I've learned from my mere twenty years of navigating through the ups and downs of this crazy life, it's that not everything will go according to plan. You don't know what lies ahead, and the truth is you won't always be ready for it, but if you stay frozen in fear as the rest of the world keeps moving forward, you'll be left behind.

Take the leap of faith always, and figure the rest out as you go.

You will experience setbacks and failures, Lord knows I have, but you'll grow from every misstep and bad decision, and you'll learn, and you'll do things differently the next time.

I believe everything happens for a reason, but I also believe that you have a hand in the things that happen.

Life is a series of diverging roads, chose your path wisely, but remind yourself that even if you take the wrong turn you'll still get to where you're going, it might just take a little longer.

It's OK to change your mind along the way and start all over again because life is about the journey, not the destination.

A wise woman once sang...

"There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb" — Miley Cyrus / Hannah Montana circa 2009

So take it one day at a time, keep that fire inside of you burning, and don't be afraid to chase your dreams.

Even as we enter adulthood and stop believing in basically everything, it's important to never stop believing in ourselves.

You got this, I believe in you, now go make your dreams come true.

Cover Image Credit:

https://unsplash.com/photos/M6qtPP5JYo4

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The Truth About Young Marriage

Different doesn't mean wrong.
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When I was a kid, I had an exact picture in my mind of what my life was going to look like. I was definitely not the kind of girl who would get married young, before the age of 25, at least.

And let me tell you, I was just as judgmental as that sentence sounds.

I could not wrap my head around people making life-long commitments before they even had an established life. It’s not my fault that I thought this way, because the majority opinion about young marriage in today’s society is not a supportive one. Over the years, it has become the norm to put off marriage until you have an education and an established career. Basically, this means you put off marriage until you learn how to be an adult, instead of using marriage as a foundation to launch into adulthood.

When young couples get married, people will assume that you are having a baby, and they will say that you’re throwing your life away — it’s inevitable.

It’s safe to say that my perspective changed once I signed my marriage certificate at the age of 18. Although marriage is not always easy and getting married at such a young age definitely sets you up for some extra challenges, there is something to be said about entering into marriage and adulthood at the same time.

SEE ALSO: Finding A Husband In College

Getting married young does not mean giving up your dreams. It means having someone dream your dreams with you. When you get lost along the way, and your dreams and goals seem out of reach, it’s having someone there to point you in the right direction and show you the way back. Despite what people are going to tell you, it definitely doesn’t mean that you are going to miss out on all the experiences life has to offer. It simply means that you get to share all of these great adventures with the person you love most in the world.

And trust me, there is nothing better than that. It doesn’t mean that you are already grown up, it means that you have someone to grow with.

You have someone to stick with you through anything from college classes and changing bodies to negative bank account balances.

You have someone to sit on your used furniture with and talk about what you want to do and who you want to be someday.

Then, when someday comes, you get to look back on all of that and realize what a blessing it is to watch someone grow. Even after just one year of marriage, I look back and I am incredibly proud of my husband. I’m proud of the person he has become, and I’m proud of what we have accomplished together. I can’t wait to see what the rest of our lives have in store for us.

“You can drive at 16, go to war at 18, drink at 21, and retire at 65. So who can say what age you have to be to find your one true love?" — One Tree Hill
Cover Image Credit: Sara Donnelli Photography

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Why You Should Bring Your Close Friend As Your Formal Date

Before asking that cute girl to formal think about asking a friend

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Every year since I was a junior in high school I have always looked forward to homecoming or prom. When I got to college I began to look forward to my fraternity formal. I was never concerned with what to wear or the expense of formal but rather who I was going to ask. It can be difficult to make a decision. If you ask anyone friends with me they will tell you how I am one of the most indecisive people out there. There are so many people I am friendly with or have a close relationship that it can feel difficult to make a decision. But let's look at that phrase again. You might think why does he want to bring someone who is his friend to his fraternity formal rather than someone he likes or is dating. To answer this question, some of the girls I have liked I have not been able to be the true me around and that also applies to the girls I have dated as well. I am different around my friends and I want someone to know the real me rather than me just having to pretend.

Maybe I am still experiencing the effects of a fun weekend but I have noticed that every formal or prom that I have brought a date with not only was a fun formal but interacted and connected well with my friends. That is the main thing I look for in a formal date, they need to be liked by my friends and many of them are still pretty friendly after the formal. You are spending the weekend with them and the drive down for you formal. There will be a lot of time spent with your date so it is important to bring someone you know you will have fun with. I am not saying that there isn't anything wrong with bringing someone else but I always found it best to bring a friend if you are not dating someone.

Think about the people you know you will always have fun with. This can be an indication of who you should bring and why but you should also think about the positives in this situation. Your fun and the time spent with the people should be prioritized before anything else. This event is about you and you should have someone with you that you know is fun to be around and someone you can enjoy yourself around along with your friends. Friends know you as well as you know yourself so there is not an idea of having to pretend to be someone else. The good thing about friends is that you do not run out of things to talk about and there is always something new to learn. Take your formal as a trip that you get to experience with the people closest to you. That is my take.

The key for me is to know that I will have fun with my date at formal. The drive to formal can be long and you are sharing a hotel room with your date along with spending time with them during the trip. I talk a lot. I want someone I know who I can carry a conversation with and will not just respond with words such as Yeah or Sounds good. I have always been able to remember not only my formals but specific parts of it as well. I think this is possible because of who I have brought and the memories I made with them.

Formals are important to everyone so think about who you want to spend that moment with. There is nothing wrong with bringing someone who you like but there also is nothing wrong with bringing a friend. Some people might bring someone they are dating but you should not have to compare yourself to other people. Do what makes you happy but remember this weekend is about you and you deserve to bring someone you will have fun with.

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