2019 was quite the year for me. Not only was it full of lessons but also people that walked into and out of my life, all in the same year. Luckily, true friends and family have stayed for longer than just in 2019 and are more permanent. For that, I'm grateful.
With the opening of a new decade — a portal to a new time and age — there are things I want to change. With that said, I'll go about those changes based on what 2019's lessons have taught me.
1. Don't trust everything that you hear.
People around me talk about lots of things. Other people, things that happen to them, rumors, current events, etc. As tempting as it can be to want to be in on the latest and have the tea to spill, one thing that I've learned to remember is that not everything is facts. In fact (sorry, had to), more than likely, what you'll hear from someone will be entirely inaccurate compared to the truth. I can't even begin to explain how often I was told one thing and then heard another from the source.
It's okay to be complicit and to absorb what's heard; what's not okay is to take information and use it wrongfully. Don't use it unless you know it's the truth.
2. Friends can be temporary.
Not all people that come into your life are meant to stay. If that were the case, I'd be friends with everyone I've ever come into contact with and have gotten along with.
While I already have a very small group of friends, the friends I choose to keep close are the ones that hold the most value to me; they're the ones that care for me and my well-being but can also take care of themselves without falling through or apart completely.
Certain people have the image of a permanent friend but can lack the characteristics of one. Those are the unfortunate temporary people meant to come into and out of life in order to teach a lesson or to have a fling with that ends suddenly.
It is what it is.
3. Don't depend on anyone else for your happiness aside from yourself.
No matter what, no other individual should supply happiness for someone else.
Don't get me wrong, my friends and family can make me happy. My boyfriend can make me just as happy, loved in fact. My only issue is that if I depend on someone else entirely for my supply of happiness, then I might as well set myself up for failure.
By depending on myself to get things done and to do things that I enjoy, I can always be guaranteed to be happy — or at least not to get upset because of something someone said or did. Everyone has their own baggage and problems to take care of, and for anyone to throw their baggage onto me is not only stressful but it victimizes me and makes me feel lesser about myself as a friend and as a person.
Don't let anyone take your value away from you. If there are any signs of toxicity, leave it behind and start fresh.
4. Only count on yourself to get things done.
At the end of the day, what is your business is yours to take care of and take responsibility for. If I want something done, I can usually only depend on myself to get it done.
When I'm working alongside people or am with people who I can't always depend on, I take action and get my sh*t done so that I can feel productive and take care of what needs to be taken care of. Depending on someone else for happiness is already an issue, but to have a hustle and get things done can be another story.
5. Don't take people's disrespect to heart.
Plain and simple, there are people in this world who go out of their way to make other's lives miserable. As bad as it sounds, it's true — and we all know it.
If I'm having a good day and someone comes into work or class with a negative attitude, or a customer comes up to me and doesn't even let me finish saying "hi, how are you today?", then there's where the issue lies.
Someone else's attitude and bad vibe can kill a mood so quickly. I also work in an industry where a lot of responsibility is placed on me for scheduling and making the company money. When something gets screwed up, I'm one of the first people to get fingers pointed at me.
My point here is that people can be rude, distasteful, a downgrade, whatever you'd like to call it. It ruins my day when someone like this comes up to me demanding my help instead of asking for it. This doesn't just go for the work world but it applies the same way into friendships and relationships.
2020 is a whole new year and the start of a new decade. Even though I learned a lot more than just 5 things last year that I want to also remember going into this new year, I can still apply these 5 emphasized examples into my everyday life and to make it habitual.
If any of these things apply to you, do something about it.