I can't remember life before the pain
Start writing a post
Arts Entertainment

Life Before My Chronic Illnesses

I no longer remember what it felt like to be "well".

110
Life Before My Chronic Illnesses
Pexels

I used to be able to reflect on life before my chronic Illnesses. However, I no longer can grasp those feelings. I have officially hit the point where all I remember is life since the pain began.

Then again, I began to see medical professionals at the age of twelve. I'm about to turn nineteen. The amount of years before my illnesses and the years since my illnesses arose are almost equal.

What I miss most about how I used to be able to sense what it used to feel like before all the pain, is that I was still so hopeful. I had no idea that the likelihood of me being able to do things I once did was very low.

I know that now. I used to play a full soccer game without breaks, I was fierce. I can't manage to run even a mile anymore. I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted. I have various food intolerances now. I used to wake up feeling refreshed, as sleep should make someone feel. There is not a day that I wake up feeling refreshed anymore, not for the past seven years.

The hardest part about now being seven years into the chronically ill life, is that I know life will only face larger obstacles. I want to graduate from physician's assistant school, travel the world, share my story, go to concerts, and much more.

The only hope I have is that I continuously promise myself I will make these things happen. For myself, and for the lives I may touch. I won't give up.

I am hopeful that science will continue to have breakthroughs. Ones I desperately hope to benefit from.

To everyone reading this that has a chronic illness, please know that you will always have a friend in me. This fight is such an isolating, lonely fight. We are stronger than the pain we experience that seems to be endless. We must continue to raise awareness and not settle for mistreatment by medical professionals. We must be our own, and each other's, advocates.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

53297
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

124425
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments