Hey you,
You're about to do something new and crazy. You're about to be at college. If you're like me it was probably something you always dreamed of. Either way, you're here. Mom and dad are no longer lurking. A lot of new things are hitting you. But I'm here to tell you to stop and pause. Think about who you are and who you want to be. Think about how you really feel about that cigarette or that boy. Chances sometimes come again for things like cigarettes and boys but the choice to stay true to yourself doesn't always come back.
I'm not telling you that you have to be a stick in the mud or never try new things, but slow down. Wait until you're through orientation before you find yourself making out with that cute girl in your major. I've been there. I jumped in headfirst without taking into consideration what I wanted out of my college experience. If I could go back the one thing I wish I did differently would be that I would slow down. I would pause and take everything in.
Don't just jump in blindly. There is going to be a cute person whose smile makes you do a double take. Don't go home with them that first night. Don't get yourself so entangled in someone else you forget what you want. Don't lose yourself for what felt like one of the best kisses of your life. Wait. Get their number first. Establish yourself and your own friends before you jump into a relationship. College is a time where a lot of people pressure you to find a significant other, to find that clichéd romance. It's okay if you don't find that at first. It's okay if you don't want that at first. Not everyone does. Looking back, I'm not sure I did.
Being away from home might be scary. That's okay. Everyone is going to tell you either "go home that first weekend" or "don't go home for three months." There's no rule of thumb for visits home. I went to school in a city three hours from home. I could have managed weekend trips home early on, and I did in October when I went home for a weekend. Some people live close to school and visit more regularly. Some people live too far to go home even for Thanksgiving. That's okay. There's no rule that says when and how long trips home have to be. Sometimes the best things to cure homesickness can be simple and accessible wherever you are.
I didn't get homesick much, or didn't realize it until my mom sent me a maple scented lip balm in the mail that reminded me of home. It made me realize just how much I did miss fall at home. It cheered me right up. If you're homesick, call your mom. Do something that assuages you. Go for a walk and try to learn to love your new place of residence.
Don't worry about having your major picked out. I changed my major too many times because I wouldn't just relax and take classes I was interested in. The one class I took my freshman fall that wasn't a part of my planned major, just a gen ed I really wanted to take, changed my whole college major plan. It's okay to see what you're interested in first. It's okay to know exactly what you want to do and stick with it. If you've always known what you want to do, follow your gut. It is possible to know your major and follow that track from day one. The point is, you don't have to if that doesn't suit you. No one really expects you to have it figured out your first semester, and that's okay. Take time to take some really interesting classes if you can.
College is probably not going to look as much like an ABC Family back to school rom-com as you think it will. College is probably less like the Hollywood glorified image you've been given. Every school is different. and while a select few have that experience, be prepared for something totally different. College flies by. I blinked and it's my senior year. Looking back I don't think I'd trade my experience for another, but if I could do one thing differently it would be to have fewer expectations going in. I would relax and live a little more and plan a little less.
It's time to start this adventure called college. Try and go slowly because if you don't, you'll blink and it will be close to over. Try and make this an opportunity to become a better version of yourself.
